Sunday, October 11, 2020

5 Year Journal Day 142

      Today's prompt is "What's your salary?" I get paid Social Security Disability (taxable) and VA Disability (non-taxable) for my salary.

     It is now 12:46 a.m. here. I am severely constipated now. Just saying. It's uncomfortable. Yesterday I almost made another calorie deficit day. Almost. I went to bed around 7:30 and woke up around 10:30 famished. I ate a "snack" that turned into a snack-meal. Yeah. I went over my calorie limit by a lot because of that. 

     Yesterday I did not accomplish much. I was dragging ass the whole day. I was able to clear some recycling and some trash from a very small portion of the floor. I had to stop when I was squatting to pick stuff up. My legs felt like they lost power. I had to sit down for awhile and recover. Caleb barely helped me. We did not get a lot done because of that. 

     I was tired because I couldn't fall into a deep sleep because I drank too many Dews in the early morning. I was zombified. I ended up drinking a lot of water throughout the day. I have not really urinated as much as I expected. I must be retaining water. I put the rest of the chicken soup in single serve portions in the freezer so I could cook what I had taken out of the freezer and put in the fridge to thaw a couple days ago. 

     Had another incident with Caleb leaving the house while I was napping. This boy makes it impossible to catch up on sleep. I have to watch him every second of the damned day. I can't trust him for shit. How hard is it to stay at home while I am sleeping? I'm frustrated. Arg!

     I called my Granny and Pepere and let them know about my cooking creation using ginger powder. They were happy to hear about it. I got their email address so now I can share photos with them. 

     I spoke to Dawn and caught her up on everything happening here. 

     My Thanksgiving dinner plans are cancelled because Donna's kids are going to spend the week with their mother. So... back to square one with that. I might just bake a couple pies anyway. Hopefully we will have the cable boxes fixed by then and we can watch some movies. 

      My mom called and we spoke for a few minutes before the call dropped.

     I was texting Rachel throughout the day. I was trying to get my mind off of ordering Domino's cheesy bread. I managed to not order anything, but it wasn't easy. I really wanted to stay within my calorie limit. It's not going to be as easy as I hoped. 

     Caleb and Bella fell asleep with me on the bed. They are all curled up beside each other. 

     There wasn't much more to my day than that. It was pretty slow going. I am getting tired of Caleb's O.D.D. though. It's a hassle to get him to do the simplest tasks. Everything has to be an argument. Everything has to be a big ordeal. Nothing can just be done because it needs to be done. Nothing! I'm trying not to lose my cool about it. I'm trying to remain grounded and sensible. I'm trying to realize it's O.D.D. and not just some bad ass kid. I can get angry too. 

     I'm just trying to clean the house of the mess that he makes. Is that so much to ask? 

     I'm thirsty and I don't want to be chugging Dew. I don't want any more water. I have to find something else to drink that is low calorie. I've been drinking water all day. I'm all watered out. I just had 2 Dews, and I don't want a repeat of what happened yesterday. I had mad internal tremors yesterday. It felt like a ghost tormenting me, pushing my buttons. I could not relax and sleep. My body would not stop moving around. I don't like that at all. 

     There. I had some orange juice and some almondmilk. I need to go back to sleep, but I don't know if I can. 

No comments:

Post a Comment