Today's prompt is "Who is your closest companion?" I would have to say my Aunt Lisa.
It is now 3:01 a.m. here. Yesterday I was able to finally take a hot shower. It was a slow day for me. I made a delicious beef stew chili made of stew beef, 6 small cans of Busch's black beans, 4 green bell peppers, 1 red, orange, and yellow bell pepper, 3 yellow onions, ginger root, minced garlic, chili powder, black pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, garlic salt. Yum!
I also worked on the family budget. I have to plan on how I am going to pay for Bella's vet appointment in December.
Caleb and I finally did our ceremony for not only grandpa, but grandma, my dad, Sharon, Mathew, Nichole, all of Caleb's cousins, Eric, Eric's wife, Sherri, and Sherri's husband. The ceremony was a removal of attachment ceremony, and one of letting go of relationships that no longer serve us. It was also a final farewell to grandma and grandpa, and honoring their spirits. It was a New Moon, so it was fitting that we finally got to do what we needed to do.
I spoke to Aunt Lisa for a long time after the ceremony. She has been so consumed by this past week, and busy. It was good to finally get to talk to her. I feel it was healing to talk to her.
I have come to the conclusion that it is best to stay away from these relationships, and love from a distance. I do not have hate in my heart. Life is too short for me to hate my own family. I just realize that life is also too short to go on with the abuses that have occurred like it is ok, when it is not.
I wish I could do more than pray about them, but at this point it is all I can do.
I told Aunt Lisa how I wish I could help her sort through grandpa's large collection of belongings, so she would not have to do it alone. Luckily for both of us, she has a few close friends who will be helping her.
I love my dad. It's complicated. I do not wish ill on him. I wish him healing and love. The same for Mathew. If I should die before they do, I have a feeling they will regret their actions.
I got a letter from the VA yesterday that showed a bill of almost $3,000 from September that was not paid by the VA. I have to get that corrected, because I don't even have $100.
I have decided to not go to the food pick up this Tuesday. Instead I will keep my mindfulness Yoga group appointment with Dr. Gellman and the ladies.
We are celebrating Thanksgiving early this year, on this coming up Saturday. We are going to my friend's Donna's to celebrate with her and her kids. I am making 2 apple pies and 2 pumpkin pies on Friday.
I do not know what the rest of the week holds because I have not created my week's schedule yet.
The air conditioning feels good now that I can feel it.
Caleb is loud as Hell right now. He is all awake because I was loud when blowing my nose and he woke up. He is wide awake and playing on the Xbox.
I called my Granny and Pepere to ask them if they had received the email I sent them with the picture of the pork dinner I made. I spoke to them for a little while. We always seem to talk about food.
I am just so thirsty.
I do not know what I am going to do today. I will probably get some more cleaning done. I did not keep the laundry going yesterday, so I have at least a day of that to do. I'm trying to be kind to myself, as my Aunt Lisa tells me to do.
I am tired so I am going back to bed, after I take my iron pill and orange juice.
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