Tuesday, November 24, 2020

5 Year Journal Day 186

     Today's prompt is " ______ is funny." Caleb is funny.

     It is now 3:51 a.m. here. Yesterday  Caleb had 2 appointments that went well. I had enough money to buy to vegetables to make a small salad, so I was happy about that. Billy got out of jail. Ms. Becky brought Caleb some hand-me-down clothes from her grandsons. 

     Yeah, that was our day. Alot of phone calls were about Billy. I really didn't do much. I just drove Caleb to his appointments, and went to Food Lion for salad veggies. I made a good homemade, stovetop meal. I made white rice with onion, zucchini, and yellow squash and some greek sausage. It was delicious. Even Caleb liked it. 
 
     I think today I will make a crockpot dinner of chicken breast and okra and maybe some beans. I took out some ground beef for tomorrow. Hopefully it will be thawed out by then. It is in the fridge. 

     Today is Tuesday. I made it through Monday, which can be quite hard. There are no more appointments for the week. I just have to go pick up the gift bag from the church at a specific time, and go pick up Caleb's medication refill from the pharmacy. 

     Right now, I'm steady drinking my Dew. I'm tired AF. I didn't want to get out f bed, but I had to use the bathroom. Bella followed me out of the bedroom. Caleb is sleeping on my bed. He is a character, I tell ya. He was playing and rammed his head into the wall by accident. I gave him a cocoa butter treatment on his back. I bet his back feels much better now. I have been using the cocoa butter on my face where I have the scabs, and they are healing much faster because of it. I am also using it for my right nostril, which is so dry that it bleeds and hurts. 

     Yesterday morning I worked on the budget to prepare for the next round of bill paying. I also wanted to see how much money we would have leftover once the bills are paid. We won't have much. 

     I am trying to put together some Christmas gift bags for a couple of friends. It is nice to be able to give something for Christmas. It won't be much, but ... it's all  I have to give. 

     I am going to make a turkey breast dinner for Thanksgiving for Caleb and me. I just need to buy some fresh green beans, and maybe some sweet potatoes, and yellow potatoes. I am looking forward to having my first very own Thanksgiving dinner with Caleb. Up until now, I have always gone to someone else's house to celebrate, not wanting to make an entire turkey dinner for just us. Now, I have a big crock pot that I can make turkey breasts in , so I don't have to buy a whole turkey. 

     Today I need to work on getting my laundry washed. I have no clean bras and am running out of socks to wear. I washed a huge load of Caleb's clothes, so he has clean underwear and socks for sure. I would like to get some vacuuming done too, as well as clean up the kitchen a bit. I forgot to water the house plants yesterday. Monday is the weekly scheduled day to water them, and if it is nice outside, give them sunlight. 

     I have just not been energized in the morning. I wake up too early, when I need more sleep. Then I stay up and just sit there being tired. It sucks. I should stay in bed longer and wake up feeling better. 

     I am waiting for a refund from amazon to be able to put gas in my car.

     I weighed in yesterday, and my weight has stayed about the same. I hope to make a difference here soon with these supplements I have started taking. It is a huge amount of herbal supplements that are supposed to help me lose my appetite and help with digestion issues I have. I find that staying at home makes it more likely that I will eat out of boredom. I will not necessarily be hungry, just eat because I'm thinking about food. 

     I skipped lunch yesterday. By the time we got home from Caleb's appointments I was feeling weird. I ate some leftover cabbage and sausage and had a piece of bread real quick because I thought my sugar might be low. I didn't check my sugar until after I had already eaten. I checked it immediately after eating, and it was 170. I should have checked it before I ate, but I didn't think about it until after I ate. I'm not in the habit of checking my sugar.

     I am not doing well avoiding carbs. I love this fresh bread made at the new Publix on the island. I love to make tuna sandwiches or even ham and cheese sandwiches with it. It's just a fast and easy way to eat a meal. No cooking or extra dishes needed. I try to limit my sandwich eating to once a day, and usually I can. It just depends on how busy I am and whether or not I feel I need food right away or can wait to cook something with vegetables in it. 

     I was trying to eat raw vegetables at least once a day, and got out of the habit when grandpa died. Just yesterday, I made my first whole meal on the stovetop again. I just have not been ok. I am getting back to being ok. I had to throw away half my salad veggies because I stopped making salads. I did not feel up to the task. I hope to get back to eating a salad a day, and fresh vegetables with a home cooked dinner. 

     I am trying to walk more frequently but I cannot walk everyday yet. It hurts for a couple of days after I walk about a mile. A mile is what I want to be my minimum, since that is walking to the Veterans Park and back. I like to take Bella there and back . It's good exercise for us both. I figure I can go every 3 days until my body gets use to it, and then maybe I can go every 2 days. 

     Generally speaking, minus the pain from walking, I have been pain-free. The supplements I take for pain really work nicely with the medication I take. Despite waking up too early for my own good, I have been sleeping better. I will never stop waking up around 3 in the morning. I am diabetic and always thirsty, and so I drink alot of fluids all day long. I will always have to get up to use the bathroom at least once in the middle of the night. 

     I still have not changed my shoes to the new shoes, and I need to retire the shoes I am wearing. I need to wear my belly/back brace everyday, and I don't. I get started doing things without putting it on first, and just don't think about it, because I am not in the habit of wearing it yet. 

     I noticed how big my arms have gotten when I went to Donna's house and used the bathroom. My God, what have I done to myself? 

     I am thinking about buying protein shakes again, and using them as meal replacements for lunch. If I do that, I will not have as many opportunities to eat vegetables. I do not know which one is better. 

     I am stretching more often than I use to. I love to do neck rolls. My neck cracks when I do it. I love to do shoulder rolls. I carry my weight and my stress in my shoulders. Every morning I bend over and put my face on Bella's body on the bed. It helps my lower back and I get to cuddle with my fur baby. 

     I do not want to lose my ability to walk. I do not want to be reduced to a wheelchair. I have to work towards getting healthy. I am working towards it. It is just taking longer to get started and stick with it. I cannot afford to give up. If I do not exercise, I will gain more weight. If I do not restrict my calorie intake, I will gain more weight. If I gain more weight, I cause myself more health problems and more pain. 

     I have not been good about not eating out lately. I will have to refrain from eating out, because when I eat out, not only do I eat more than I need to, but the food is not cooked in the same manner as I would cook it from home. The food is automatically cooked with more sugar, salt, and fat. 

     It would be great if I could stop vaping. and drink less Dew. 

     I want to stop vaping but don't know what to do when I don't have the option to vape. I don't have another habit to replace it with. I have to be able to calm my mind when the craving hits. I have to be be able to change my behavior in such a way that I am not moving from one bad habit to another. I don't think I can quit as long as we are in quarantine. The stress is too much. Being at home all day long is too much. Right now, it is a coping mechanism.

     I am wearing my ruana that I bought last year. It is so soft, like wearing a blanket around my shoulders. 

     Today I want to spend some time with Caleb and work his math training. I do not want to overwhelm him, but maybe to do a worksheet or something and also maybe a journal entry. He wrote a little bit at his occupational therapy appointment. I think I need to find a way to buy him some books on military history, special forces, and rangers. 

     I don't have enough money to buy the book I want to buy for Caleb right now, but I might be able to buy him one at a time over time. 

     There is an awesome visual encyclopedia of World War II and I think also World War I that Caleb would love. 

     I want to find a history lesson on Thanksgiving to go over with him, so he knows the reason for the season and the holiday. I want him to think about the things he is thankful for too. 

     Caleb and I found some kids on our street, but we do not yet know how old they are. We noticed sidewalk chalk on a driveway as we were walking down the street the other day. There have not been kids on our street since we moved here. Caleb might have somebody to play with once the quarantine is over. 

     I just thought of a project I need to do. I have small box that was shipped to me after more than a year of waiting that contains my medical files that I requested from the VA. They are not my VA medical files, though. They are my Army files that the VA obtained when I filed my claim. There are easily more than 1,000 pages in that box. I need to scan them and save them. I never want to have to wait that long for my files again, and after awhile they don't keep them anymore, I think. 

     I also need to update Caleb's birth certificate. It will not be easy for someone else to do if I should die. I need to get it done. 

     I just about that I need to order refills for my medications again. Ok, I got that done. 

     It is now 5:46 a.m. and I am on my last Dew for the morning. 

     I don't know about today. I hope I feel alive and energized when I get up later. I could really use a boost. I wish I could drink coffee, but the last time I drank it, it made me feel sick to my stomach.

     I think I will be able to take a walk to the park today. I like taking Bella for walks. She likes to sniff everything  along the way. 

     I need to charge my "good" camera's battery so I can use it  to take better pictures than what I get with my phone's camera. 

     I am thinking about selling the shoes I have not worn, and will never be able to wear again. I am not use to selling things online, so I will have to learn. I could use the money, and it would be nice to only have the things that I can use in my closet. 

     I have a bag or two of clothes that I want to give away. I do not know when places will be accepting donations again though. I do not want to sell them. The local thrift store might take them. 

     I need to charge the battery on the Volvo and drive it. I thought about driving it tomorrow but I don't have anywhere I need to go until it gets dark, and I can't drive the Volvo in the dark because the headlights are not level. 

     I think the annual town Christmas parade is either this weekend or next week. I don't want to miss it. I take Caleb to see it every year. They are doing it differently this year because of Covid-19. We usually all meet up at the park for Christmas carols, hot chocolate, and cookies. There is a parade and Santa comes to town! It's fun and festive. Since we can't gather, the parade is going to be lined up along a road, and we will be staying in the car and driving by the floats. 

     One year Santa arrived on a helicopter. Last year, Elsa and her sister were there to meet the kids! 

     Well, my Dew is about gone, and I have to take my iron pill and orange juice.  

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