Today's prompt is " What are the top songs on your "recently played" list?" I don't have a recently played list because I don't listen to my music as often as I use to. I use to have to listen to music to everything I did all day long, I was listening and singing and dancing. Not anymore. I think it's the depression. I have to be feeling a certain kind of way. That, plus I just don't feel the music that I hear on the radio anymore. I don't get alot of it. I'm older and don't follow the trends. I don't like alot of stuff considered "popular." One song I listen to on the radio though, is the Chris Cornell version of the Guns 'N' Roses' song "Patience."
It is now 1:35 a.m. here. I have struggled to get back to sleep since waking up more than an hour ago. I don't know why I can't sleep. I got tired of trying, so I got up. Yesterday I had my psychiatrist appointment. I asked if there was anything that could be done about my medications because I am feeling more depressed being at home, and dealing with the things I am dealing with. Unfortunately, I am already on the maximum dose of my anti-depressant, and the only other augmenting medication that I could try would cause weight gain. Sooo.... I'm shit out of luck.
Caleb and I went to Wilmington to bring Billy some food. I packed a small box of canned items I got from the food distribution last month that we still had. He also got some brown rice and pasta, as well as cereal. He doesn't normally eat much so I think what I gave him will last more than a week.
I then took Caleb to Chinese Buffet for a meal. Although we went last week, we don't normally get the chance to go. It's a real treat.
On the way out of the parking lot there stood a man with a sign at the traffic light. I had Caleb hand me a gatorade from the trunk and I opened the passenger window and handed it to him. I said , "It's not much, but it's all I have." He said, " Are you kidding ? I'll take gatorade any day!" I told him to stay safe. He gave us his thanks and his blessings.
I use to drive my Volvo before I got the Mazda. I use to live in Wilmington when I was going to UNCW to complete my degree. I was there for a few years. I almost always had bottled water and gatorade in my car, as well as some type of snack. Whenever I ran into somebody I could help, I would give them drinks and food. I wasn't rich, even back then. Hell, I was a single parent and a college student! I just care. One man was living under a bridge. I brought him a bag of groceries that I would have otherwise thrown out because I was changing our diet at the time to be gluten free. I brought him a pocket sized Bible , a spoon, and a can opener too. He was not very inviting, but I knew I was doing the right thing. He must have gotten back on his feet, because the next thing I knew he was gone.
I use to try to buy the coats after the holidays were over from Walmart when they are marked down. I would donate them to Caleb's elementary school for the less privileged children. Again, I'm not rich by any means. I just care. Besides who could pass up a deal like that?
I took Travis in to my home, a disabled veteran, and cared for him. He would drive wherever I needed to go. I had just had my first seizure so I was prohibited from driving for 6 months. He did not have a high VA rating for his disabilities, so I helped him file his claim and get 100%.
At one time I had alot of bedding that I was never going to use. I think most of it was donated to me. I ended up giving it to my church at the time to help families.
We take our clothes and items that cause clutter to the Goodwill when we do not have somebody to give them to. I recently gave one of Caleb's friends alot of good clothes that he quickly outgrew.
Right now it sucks because we are on the receiving end of donations, and I would rather be on the giving end.
I took my dad and Sharon into my home when they were living in a single room in an extended stay hotel. They were on the verge of getting kicked out. They had amassed so much junk in that tiny room that you could hardly get to the bed. The walls were lined with shelving that they had totes of their junk in. From floor to ceiling , just junk. I tried my best to work with my dad to get his VA claim submitted properly so he could increase his VA rating.
I took Christinia and her daughter in when she was trying to flee an abusive partner. I filed her VA claim for her and her Social Security claim too. We got her on food stamps and Medicaid for them both. We worked together to make sure she would get child support.
When Billy was going a through a hard time with his mental health, I helped him file for Social Security Disability.
Maybe I should have been a social worker? What do you think Aunt Lisa?
I took my dad and Sharon in when they were cramped up in a tiny apartment with one of my dad's friends in Florida. Did I need help? Yes I did, but that does not refute the fact that they needed rescuing.
I might call myself a Witch now, but that does not mean I do not take what Jesus said to heart. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Another good thing to live by is "Don't cast stones when living in a glass house."
I gave Nichole everything I could. She has a practically brand new digital sewing machine. She has a practically brand new digital camera that she does not even know where it is, but cost me several hundred dollars. I gave her all my clothes from sizes 16 to 8 that I figured she would more than likely use sooner than I would, including name brands from Macy's that were professional wear items like suits. I gave her my shoes that I knew I would not be using once I became disabled. I gave her alot of expensive jewelry that I knew I would not be wearing if I was staying home.
That's just the stuff I remember. I have given more than the average person. I care. I care alot.
So now that I am the one on food stamps, Medicaid, Medicare, Social Security disability, and VA disability... Actually, you know what? I was on all those programs when I gave, except maybe food stamps. So how about that?
Meanwhile I'm trying to find a way to create income from home that is within regulations. I was trying to take classes and prepare to even go back to work. I was taking the Peer Support Specialist certification classes when Christinia had a meltdown and we found out that Mathew was being deployed. I wanted to be able to work with veterans at the VA.
I took a life coaching certification course, and completed it. I just do not feel it is my calling. I tried to start a credit repair business, but saw that it was not going to work for me. At one time I was in the jewelry selling business. Before that I was selling Avon.
I am homeschooling now, so I really don't have time for much else. It is hard enough to get my chores and grocery shopping done. I want to start walking on the incline trainer and focusing on my physical health now that I have conquered most of my pain, and my mental health is doing ok. I can not seem to stop overeating. I do not know why. I am just not in control right now. I am not taking my supplements to control my appetite. I need to be trying to do that.
Today Caleb has his occupational therapy appointment. Other than that, I do not have anything planned. There is alot of stuff I need to do though. I just work better when I don't have the large list running through my head all day, berating me for not getting it all done in one day.
Caleb has been needing more sleep lately. I have noticed that he sleeps later than usual this week. His mood seems to be ok. I think he might have Seasonal Affective Disorder. I do to some degree too.
I have 2 pen pals now. I need to write one back and write the other one for the first time. Should be pretty cool. I haven't had a pen pal since maybe high school. I met a boy at the Young Life camp I went to one summer in Colorado. He lived in Georgia. We wrote to each other after camp for awhile. I guess neither one of us felt like we belonged there.
One pen pal is a veteran, and one pen pal is a witch. They are both women. I have to find the time to write them decent letters. It's so much easier to send an email. LOL
Bella is laying by my feet under the table. Caleb fell asleep con the incline trainer under a pile of blankets.
It is now 2:44 a.m. and I am wide awake. Maybe I should get to writing those letters?!
No comments:
Post a Comment