Today's prompt is "When was the last time you spoke to your parents?" Well, I was messaging my mom yesterday after having a bad day. I messaged my dad when his dad passed away, but he did not respond. I am not really supposed to be communicating with him.
It is now 6:43 a.m. and I just finished paying the bills. I was thinking... You know, "normal" people have so many options when it comes to making money that I don't have. I can not get a job. I can not get a promotion. I can not transfer to a new department. I can not get trained or educated to increase my prospects. I can not find a new job. I can not create my own business. I can not work extra hours. I can not get a pay raise. It's not easy being disabled and living on disability payments. I do not get an automatic pay raise for every year I am on disability, a-hem- service members.
I have to live within my means, the same means I had 7 years ago. My bills keep increasing because I have things around the house that need replacing or fixing and it's expensive. I have no savings at all. I have only had the COLA increase every so often and that has been around 1.3% , and we know that inflation is greater than that.
The best thing I can do is to get out of debt, but the debt keeps growing faster than I can pay it off. As soon as I get one thing paid off, I have another thing come up that I have to start paying on. It's a vicious cycle.
I feel that I only have the basics. I am grateful to have a house to live in, but resent having to do much work to it to maintain functionality. I am grateful to have a minivan that is not from pre-2000 to drive, but can't wait to pay it off. I am grateful to have a sedan that is fully paid off, but can't wait to be able to afford to repair it so it can be driven during the night, during the heat, and with a radio working.
I still have not come up with the $100 to move the old furniture off the property.
I am grateful to have a shed to store my non-essential, but important belongings, but I can't wait to not have payments anymore. I am grateful that I was offered credit when I was, but now am struggling to pay the debt back. It seems to take forever.
I am living on credit because my family needs more than we make. Caleb outgrows clothes so fast that I had just paid off one clothing credit card when he needed a whole new wardrobe. It gets so hot during the summer that my central air conditioning can not keep up to keep the house cool, so I had to buy a window unit on store credit. My carpet cleaner is (my old one) is more than 10 years old, and needed to be replaced, and I had to use store credit for that too.
I just wonder how many other people are living the same or similarly to me. I know the pandemic has made things worse for a great many people.
Thank God I get food stamps, because I don't have much money left after paying the bills. I will be going to the food distribution this month, as my supplies are running low.
I try to not go out much to save on gas. I try not to waste water because it is very expensive here.
I am having a pauper's holiday season, because alot of my family has rejected me for one reason or another.
Anyway, my charging cable broke for my phone. I hope to get a new one to replace it today. I am running out of my favorite progresso soups. I might have to run to Harris Teeter to restock. The bread is getting stale, but I am still eating it. I need to take out food from the freezer so I have meat to cook for dinners. I don't have any vegetables to cook right now, so I hope I can buy some today. I need to put gas in the Mazda. Bella is running out of food and I need to restock that. At least I was able to buy toilet paper and paper towels when I did. I will be set for those for a while.
I am feeling better today than I was yesterday. The birds are chirping outside as day breaks. Hopefully we will see the sun today.
Caleb is still asleep. I don't really feel like staying up. I will take my iron pill and orange juice and go back to bed.
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