"A1: Difficulty with Social initiation and response:
1. Do you find it hard to approach others to initiate a conversation?"
It depends on the circumstances. At social gatherings, yes. When I need help, no. I have developed more confidence in myself just recently. This use to be a big problem for me, and I would not ask for help as needed.
"2. Do you have difficulty entering into a social group or conversation?"
Yes.
"3. Do you struggle with knowing when it's your turn to talk?"
Yes.
"4. Do you frequently interrupt others or leave unusually long pauses in conversations?"
Yes.
"5. Do you find yourself having one-sided conversations in which you're doing most of the talking?"
Yes.
"6. Do you get easily bored when someone wants to talk about a subject that doesn't interest you?"
Yes.
"7. Do you find it difficult to engage in "small talk"? "
Yes.
"8. Do you see conversations as primarily a way to exchange information rather than emotionally connect with people?'
Yes.
"9. Do you find it hard to explain something in a different way if someone doesn't understand you the first time?"
Yes.
"10. Do you find it hard to get excited when someone else shares news of an exciting or enjoyable experience they had?"
Yes.
"11. Does praise make you uncomfortable because you're unsure how to respond?"
Yes.
"12. Do you find that you don't enjoy social interactions in the way others seem to enjoy them?'
Yes.
"13. Do you have an aversion to physical affection or other types of typically pleasurable physical contact?"
Yes.
"14. Do you find it difficult to ask help from others?"
Not anymore, but I did for most of my life.
That's the first section of questions. There are many others that will follow in the next few blogs. I just want to make clear to my readers how Autism affects me. I otherwise don't know how to respond to questions like , "How Autistic are you?" I don't fucking know. If I did know, I wouldn't be able to communicate it, because I'm THAT Autistic! People get on my nerves so badly.
Today I have my Reiki Master class from 1000-1700. I got up around 0400 this morning. That's later than usual , so I am happy with that. I already took my medications, and checked my blood sugar. I have been forgetting to check my blood sugar in the morning over the last few mornings. One day I forgot to take my Victoza. I'm just a mess lately. I swear if I don't write it down, I will forget it.
I went ahead and responded to two classmates on the forum board at Capella. I was getting overwhelmed, and had to stop reading the threads. So I mosied on over to my blog, and decided it was time to refer to that book. I have been meaning to read it for a long time now.
I would have gone ahead and answered all the questions at once, but typing the questions with one hand and holding the book open with the other hand is making my typing arm hurt.
I bought myself and Caleb each a deck of cards with our picture on the back. I played solitaire with my cards for the first time yesterday. I use to play solitaire alot as a kid, after my grandpa de Mello showed me how to play on his computer one night. Once I understood how to play, it was awesome! I even remember playing with cards in AIT at Fort Sam Houston. It helps me get my thoughts in order and let go. It's a form of play that I can do without needing someone else. It helps me to meditate at times too. I bought this particular card set because I wanted to make it more personal. Unlike the tarot cards I have, they are standard card size and easy to shuffle. I can make my own interpretations of what I see, without having knowledge of what the cards mean. That means I don't look it up in the book every time I work with them. I felt a need to get back into playing solitaire. I wanted Caleb to have an easy way to meditate and play too, so that's why I bought him a set of cards.
Yesterday I went out and got the Volvo inspected so I could pay the taxes and registration renewal. We also went to CVS to pick up Caleb's medications. The we came home. I ate my lunch of salad, and went to take a nap. I did not do any cleaning yesterday, and I am ok with that. I can't do everything every day. I am learning to be ok with that.
The Volvo drives good. Caleb found a black widow spider living in the car and killed it.
I am wearing my fitbit this morning. I charged it and synced it yesterday. It has not been used for about a year. I wanted to start logging in my steps and stuff like that so I know where I stand, and can improve every day.
I am charging my Apollo neuro currently. I use that throughout the day to direct my body's reactions as I want. There are several different programs that I use quite frequently. I usually use the "wake up/energy" program when I get up and get settled into my office chair. I use the " clear and focused" program when I want to pay attention to my work. I use the "meditation" program when I do my Reiki session on myself. I use the "relax and unwind" program just before I go to sleep. It's cool. I don't know how well it works, but it helps me put the intention into what I want to do. It just vibrates according to the program and is supposed to signal to my body different things in order to make me more resilient.
I am wearing the watch that I bought for Caleb because the band is not long enough for his wrist. It is a Shark watch similar to the one I use to wear in the Army, except mine was all black to be within regulations, and this one has red, white and blue over black.
It was a task to get my hair back in order after not having brushed it for so long yesterday. I did have tangles and knots. That is one reason I do not wear it down very often. It's curly and so it's going entangle with itself. It's just the nature of my hair. Anyway, it's nicely kept in a low ponytail now with the ponytail in a braid. No more tangles!
I am trying to figure out what happened to the portable air conditioner that I returned to Amazon. Trying to reach someone at Amazon is a pain in the ass. I just want my refund already. They should have received the damned thing by now! Ugh. Frustrated.
I got the disability letter from Ms. Wells at the VA clinic about my memory. I need to email that to disability services at Capella after I scan it.
I am waiting on my travel pay from the VA for all the appointments I have driven to lately. They owe me more than $200 for gas already! Like when am I going to get that in my account?
Caleb moved stuff around on the dining table where I work, and now I don't know where my stuff is. SMH. He did it to help me make space so I could play solitaire with my new cards. I wish I would have paid attention to where he was putting my papers and stuff. I need my lists to make sure I keep my routines and take proper care of not only myself , but Caleb, and the dogs.
I have a feeling I am going to quit vaping when I run out of my favorite e-juice. It is going to be hard not to have it. It is one way that I stim. It is my adult stimming. I don't know what I will replace it with. Just the action of vaping is addictive to me. What am I supposed to do with my hands when I don't vape?
It is now 0544. I guess I should be getting ready for the day. I need to find my routines lists so I can stay on track and get the things I need to do everyday done. Be blessed my readers!
I came back to bring you these. I created a summary sheet of my test results from the EmbraceAutism
website that I took on June 29,2022.
Autism
Spectrum Quotient
50 Questions
Scoring 1-50
Threshold score above 26. Scores 26 or greater
indicate you might be Autistic.
79.3% of Autistic people score 32 or higher.
Most neurotypical females score 15 on average.
My score:
42
RAADS-R
80 statements
Scoring 0-240
Threshold score 65 or above.
65 or above is likely Autistic.
Less than 65 likely not Autistic.
Mean score of autistic people 130, with a strong evidence
for Autism.
A score of 160 is very strong evidence for Autism.
My score:
147
CAT-Q
25 statements
Scoring 25-175
Threshold score of 100 or above
My Score
: 134
Empathy
Quotient
60 statements
Score range 0-80
Threshold score 30 or less
My Score
: 19
Systemizing
Quotient- Revised
75 statements
Scoring 0-150
Threshold is 75 or above.
My Score
: 95
Aspie
Quiz
According
to results:
I am very
likely on the broader Autism cluster, (Aspie).
My
broader Autism Cluster (Aspie) score: 135 of 200
Neurotypical
Score : 74 of 200
Asperger’s
Syndrome and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder are likely.
Possible
Dyslexia, Dyscalculia, and/or ADD/ADHD are likely.
Possible
Dyspraxia is likely.
Stimming
is likely.
“Attachment”
Disorders and paraphilias are likely.
Intimacy
problems are likely.
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