New Start Day 26

     It is now 0654, and I have only been out of bed for about 30 minutes or so. I am currently having the level 1 andara attunement done. I am supposed to be relaxing with my eyes closed, but I can't seem to do that, so here I am. I only took 2 hydroxyzine (anxiety medication) pills this morning. I took 3 yesterday and I think it makes me tired. Either the medication makes me tired, or the lack of anxiety makes me tired. I can't figure out which until I experiment a bit more. So today I am only taking 2 pills twice a day to see if there is enough anxiety removal and I can stay awake. I hope so! I really enjoyed not feeling my intense anxiety yesterday. I was so relaxed in my own body. So many times I am dissociating from my own body because I can't take what is going on inside it. Either it's the pain from fibromyalgia that is too much, the anxiety is too much, or the depression is too much. It sucks. I try so hard to stay grounded and centered. That's one of the main reasons I was doing Reiki in the mornings. It only works for awhile because I am sensitive. 

    I received my andara in the mail yesterday, and have placed them in the bags I get from Sage Goddess (2 bags) and have them resting on my heart, under my far infrared compression tank top. I am wearing the pendant with the clear quartz crystal pendant next to it. I slept that way. I don't know if anything happened in my sleep. I was able to sleep and stay in bed longer than usual. 

    Yesterday I did not do much. While I was able to, I worked on this week's assignment of doing research using the library. I began but did not finish, so I need to work on it more today. It consists of finding and analyzing 3 scholarly articles in 3 different topics. In week 6 I will have to write a paper. 

    I just got the final version of my "#BeastMode" chapter back to review. We will be launching soon on amazon!

    I am feeling this attunement even though I am multi-tasking right now. I am going over what I have to do in my class, and reading my chapter. I am reading my emails, but I feel a difference in my body. I feel better. This is so awesome! I am loving it!

    I've got Bella at my feet curled in a donut shape. Bubba is active this morning and chewing on things already. Caleb is still asleep. He slept in his room last night. I think the house clearing that Erica Rock did for us really helps us sleep peacefully. We are divinely protected now in a way I never thought to ask. How does she know what to say? How did she learn to do that? I might have to ask.

    I am wearing my new ring from Sage Goddess. I forget why I thought I needed it. 

    Let's see. Today I have to do what I could not do yesterday, and that is work on the laundry, work on my homework, clean the kitchen (Again), and get the stuff moved from the living room to the third bedroom. I need to clear what is on the incline trainer so I can use it when I am ready. I feel like I am ready to start walking daily. I will not push myself too hard this time. I will just leisurely walk. Any walking is better than no walking at this point. My fitbit has been tracking my steps, and I do not walk more than 1,500 steps on a normal day. That's sad. I need to intentionally walk to change that. I will see the benefits quickly, I think. I will begin to lose weight faster. I am so ready to lose more weight! I am so happy I was able to get this far already. I am glad I am sticking with Virta suggestions as to my diet. I am happy that I found what works for me during this process. It is not easy. There are so many rules and limitations to what I can eat right now, but I've already lost 40 lbs.!  That's amazing, and without exercising at all!  

    I am working on myself, and it is really showing improvements in my daily living. I hope to be more social when I figure out the best way to take this anxiety medication. I feel so good right now because the attunement for level 1 is complete and I can feel this difference it is making. Erica Rock rocks!

    Caleb just woke up. It is now 0740. It looks dark outside because of the rain, but the day is starting. I have not completed all of my morning routines yet, so I should probably get them done. 

    I feel like sitting here a little bit longer though and just enjoying this feeling of newfound freedom within my body. 

    Oh! I got the digital files of the photos taken by Linda yesterday! Let me show you.

    As you can see, I am not a good model at all! LOL I look so weird without my glasses I swear! I had to take them off due to the glare either from the sun or from the studio lighting. Some of the pictures I really like though. I had the photo shoot done because I wanted professional photos for my upcoming books that I am going to write. My bio page needed good quality photos. What do you think about the photos? Let me know!

    I've been going through some stuff lately, so it's a good thing to see myself smiling with my hair done. I did not wear makeup. I wanted to look natural. I lost my nose stud in the shower and did not notice it until I came back home. I hope to work with Linda again in the future to take photos of both me and Caleb together. Then, I want to take photos after I lose more weight too. I can't wait to be rid of this big belly of mine. 

    I went ahead and paid the medical bill I got from Wilmington Health that should have been paid by the VA. Apparently my authorization expired, and no one told me prior to my appointments. After secure messaging the nurse at the VA Women's Clinic about future authorizations, I decided to cancel my appointments with Wilmington Health endocrinology. I did not like the doctor there anyway. I let the nurse know at the Women's Clinic that my A1c was already at 6.5, and I hope to lower it even more. I will no longer be classified as diabetic soon, and will no longer need diabetic specialty care. I also mentioned that Virta sends me for labs on a regular basis to monitor my progress, and so I have no concerns over that part. The nurse at the Women's Clinic, I forget her name, was supportive of my decision, so I made the call to cancel both the labs and the office visit. I hope to never see that doctor again. Ever!

    Now I have to figure out how to go about my day. I don't know what to do first. I know I need to complete my morning routines. I hope I don't need to go out for anything today. That is so time consuming and when I get home I am so tired. I don't have any appointments today, so I am free from that. I only have until Sunday to get both my assignment and quiz completed, but I think I would feel better if I got some cleaning around here done first. I feel like it's a good day to light candles and incense. 

    Christinia got her box ! She loved it, I think! I hope I made her day. I know she is struggling with some things right now, and I can't be there for her because my things are too much for me right now. I hope by sending her a care package that she knows I care even when I am not immediately available, and that I think about her and hope she figures things out. 

    I've got to get going. It's already 0810. Be blessed my readers!