It is now 0750, and I have been up since around 0600. That's sleeping in for me. I don't sleep well. I woke up around 2 or something and needed to eat something. I just felt empty and I can't sleep like that. That's one reason I like to eat steak for dinner. I'm full all night long. Yesterday I made a meal of ground chuck, minced garlic, cabbage, and a new seasoning called "Lowe's Foods Spice Bazaar: Bet on Baharat", a middle eastern flavor. It turned out good, but it needed salt. I guess because I had class last night and did not go to sleep at my usual time of 1800, that kind of messed me up too. I had group session with Coach Brandi and Coach Nick from Unleash Your Life from 1900 to 2100. I was able to get through it without too much difficulty and was glad I made it to group. It is a zoom meeting online, so I did not actually go anywhere. I had difficulty sitting still. I did not even try to sit still. I moved in my chair the whole night. As the night went on, I began touching my mala necklaces and clicking my pen. I was drinking Diet Mountain Dew, and even took breaks to vape as I needed. I did not go off camera for that, I simply leaned to the side so the vape wouldn't take over the screen. I think it was a good session. I talked this time, and I felt confident about my own presence there. Not all the group members showed up, and I hope they are ok.
Earlier in the day yesterday I was able to pre-wash the dishes that go in the dishwasher, and hand wash the dishes to fill the dish strainer. I ran the dishwasher and waited for Caleb to unload the dish strainer so I could wash the rest of the dishes. Before I began cooking, I had almost all the dishes washed, the countertop cleaned, and the stovetop cleaned. That has been on my list to do for awhile now, and it makes me so happy to get it done finally. I was happy that I could cook dinner too. It is not every night that I have the energy to cook a dinner. Alot of times, I simply throw a steak on the grill, or I eat lunchmeat with cheese and/or guacamole.
Yesterday morning Caleb and I went to Lowe's Foods so I could buy ground beef. Like usual, I came out with more than just that to save trips to the grocery stores. I also bought myself mushrooms and onions to make more salads.
So that was Monday. Caleb and I woke up around 0230, but I was too tired to stay awake like I normally do. I went back to sleep after taking my medications and giving Caleb his medications. I got up around 0630 to start my day. I ended up taking a nap after lunch so that I could be well rested before my class at 1900.
Sunday I had my Reiki Master class from 1000 to 1700. It was all day long, so I did not do anything but that. I started the class in tears because I had so much anger and rage on my chest from dealing with the VA prior to class. I am so tired of people treating me poorly within the VA system. I wrote a couple of secure messages while it was fresh on my mind. I was able to listen to Michal's voice and let go of the emotions that did not serve me during our opening meditation.
I became an attuned Reiki Master before lunch break, along with about 10 other women. I will graduate after a short class on Thursday night.
Saturday Caleb and I went to get the Volvo inspected so I could pay the registration renewal and taxes. It took a long time of waiting because it was a first come, first serve business and alot of people were ahead of us. I waited outside in the shade, on the bench. It was a beautiful day and I had a few times where I was just staring at the grass, the trees, and the clouds. I never take the time to just sit outside in the Summer because usually it is just too damn hot outside. While I waited, I started reading stuff about my Capella class on the app on my phone. I brought a book with me, but I did not read it. I just did not want the time to go to waste.
After that was completed, we went to CVS to pick up Caleb's medications, and then went back home.
I don't remember much more about Saturday. i think we started to clean up the house at some point, but did not get very far. Bubba keeps finding stuff and destroying it so there is constantly stuff to pick up and throw away.
Yesterday I cleaned out the fridge a bit. It smelled like the fish we had in there. I also reached out to my dad and Dona Sharon after group to see if they were willing to be open to receive Reiki. They agreed to be open to it after I explained what I meant. So now they are on my daily Reiki list and part of my Send Light to the World mission.
Caleb on one of those days had a diarrhea mess made by Bubba in his crate to clean up. I finally got him to listen to what I was telling him, to get it done quickly and effectively. He had to hose down Bubba's bed before he could wash it in the washing machine. He got it done, and I am proud of him. Taking orders has never been Caleb's strength.
Caleb started cleaning out the Mazda by taking one trash bag outside and filling it with trash from the Mazda. That's all I wanted him to do because I leave empty Dew cans on the passenger side floor every time I drive and it piles up. Also Caleb leaves food trash in there when we eat in the car. Eventually he will be shop vacuuming the floor, but it was too hot outside for that yesterday. He filled an entire trash bag in a few minutes and completed the mission I put him on. I am happy about that.
I started to train Bubba to "sit" and "lay down" with training treats. I have to remember to give him his flea/tick medication today. The heartworm medication gave him diarrhea so we had to wait for that to clear up before I could give him his second medication.
I took a shower Saturday, and just like I predicted, it drained the life out of me. I was happy to be able to brush my hair and wear fresh new clothes. I am now wearing a smaller size 2x top and a smaller size 3x bottoms. Caleb found my slide on sandals, so now I do not have to wear those compression socks and diabetic walking shoes every day if I don't want to, and I don't want to.
I officially started Capella University class on Monday. My professor had already sent out an introduction video on Saturday, which I was not expecting. I went ahead and posted my own introduction like she asked us to do. Later, I responded to 2 students. I wanted to read all the introductions but I don't have the time or energy.
I decided to wear my fitbit again. I went ahead and bought scrunchie bands to keep my skin from getting irritated. That's why I stopped using it initially. My skin was getting irritated from wearing it non-stop and sweating under the band. Now the band is elastic and covered by cloth so it should be ok.
I forgot to use my Alpha-Stim last night before bed.
I feel like I am healthier since being attuned to Reiki Master. I feel more empowered too.
Yesterday was the last therapy session with Dr. Van Horn at the VA clinic. We decided it was wise to take a break until all my psychological testing was done and reviewed before deciding what to do next. I was with her to do Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. The problem with that is that it takes a degree of good memory to use it and apply it, which I do not have. She would ask me about about our session one week ago, and I would not be able to recall it. And I'm not even smoking weed! WTF? LOL
Today I have a dental appointment in Wilmington. I will have to leave here soon. I have to go wake Caleb up. He looks tired like he needs more sleep, even though he is already sleeping. My appointment is just for a cleaning. When I come home from that, I will have time for lunch, and then I have a three-way zoom meeting with Coach Brandi and Coach Nick from Unleash Your Life. I wonder what we will talk about today.
Tomorrow Caleb sees his psychiatrist and therapist in the afternoon. Thursday I have my psychological testing session in the afternoon, and my Reiki Master graduation in the evening. I also have to write my post by Thursday at midnight for my Capella class.
There are no appointments on Friday yet. I don't know what the weekend brings. I have to submit my responses to other students' posts by Sunday at midnight for my Capella class. I also have a quiz and some other stuff to do before then. I will likely do some work when I come home today.
I haven't completed all my morning routines yet, and I am running out of time before I have to hit the road. Be blessed my readers!
No comments:
Post a Comment