Monday, August 15, 2022

New Start Day 18

    Today is Monday and it is 0544 now. I have been awake for nearly an hour. I went ahead and took my morning medications and caught up on all the internet stuff that happened while I was asleep. Yesterday was an ok day, although it was not as productive as I would have liked it to be. Caleb and I went to Walmart and did some shopping in the morning. When we came home, I was tired and needed a nap. I wanted to get the living room cleaned up, but did not have the energy. I made a list of things for Caleb to do so I would not forget what I needed him to do, and gave him directions from it. It was a pretty slow day, although it was beautiful outside with the sun out. 

    Saturday Caleb and I cleaned out the Mazda. It wasn't in the plans to do that, but I went outside to look at the trunk that morning and decided that it wasn't so hot that I couldn't get the trunk organized and cleaned out. Caleb helped me by detailing the Mazda with the detail kit Christinia bought before she left. We got at least three bags of trash out! Disgusting! So glad we finally got it done. It still needs to be shop vac'd and detailed inside. Caleb only cleaned the windows, and got the rugs out to scrub them. I finally put windshield washer fluid in the Mazda. I ran out the other day and have been meaning to replace it ever since. We worked on the Mazda together until I needed a break. We both came inside to cool off and get drinks. I had lunch and took a nap. When I got back up, I went to see what else needed to be done on the Mazda. I had Caleb "close out the project" when I was done for the day. He put an odor remover in the Mazda and then put the sign on the window that said to "Stay Out!".

    I made a chuck roast with tri-color bell peppers for our dinner in the crockpot, so it was ready to eat when we were done working. Tristen came by the house to ask if Caleb could ride his bike with him. Since I had a good day with Caleb working, I let him go for about an hour. Caleb did not cause me any problems by arguing all day. 

    Friday was a different story. Donna and Gage came over to see if Caleb could come over to play. I did not let Caleb go because we have to clean the house. I told them that if I got cooperation out of Caleb then he could go on Saturday. Well, Caleb argued and gave me a hard time about doing simple things and I told him that he was only hurting himself. He did none of the work I needed him to do. It was frustrating. I don't understand it. 

    Friday I caught up on my Reiki Master class and completed my work for that. I should receive a certificate this week. I also completed my Capella homework which was alot of reading and then a quiz.

    My anxiety is starting to fade, leaving me tired. I had alot of anxiety about last week because I started school on Monday and had my psych eval testing on Thursday. I had my last Reiki class on Thursday night that I was too exhausted to attend. I had group with Unleash Your Life on Monday night. I started the week tired because I spent the day in Reiki class on Sunday. I had a dental appointment on Tuesday. It was just alot of stuff going on. This week I am more able to get my housework done due to not having so many appointments. 

    I started washing laundry yesterday. I still have to wash my pups this week. I am still getting the living room organized. It is overwhelming to look at. The floor is covered with storage boxes and the shed is a hot mess so I can't just move them there. 

    This week, "Clinging to the Vine" is releasing on amazon. I don't remember what my chapter is about. I have to read it again. The whole book is about drawing close to God though. 

    I am struggling financially. My foodstamps were cancelled due to me making "too much money". That was about $600 a month I depended on for food. I am still adjusting to not getting paid rent from Christinia too. That was $500 a month I was depending on. I need a passive income source. I thought I could sell more books than I have. So far I have only sold two of "Let Go or Be Dragged." 

    My dad seems to think that I should have a small fortune left over from refinancing the house, but I don't. I have a growing teenager in my house that I just had to replace his entire wardrobe. I have a puppy in the house that has to visit the vet every month. That's just my current state. Don't get me started on what I did when the cashout occurred. I handled my business. 

    I got a call from Social Services about the child support claim I have going on. They cannot reach Jamie McCurry and their resources are limited because he lives in another state. The claim will have to go to the interstate department to be handled. 

    I took out a student loan to cover my college expenses. I do not qualify for financial aid, so I had to take a private student loan. I should be getting a refund in about 5 weeks or so. Until then, I am using my credit cards to buy groceries. I have a big monthly bill for Ignite Your Light program that I took. I am on a 12 month payment plan because it was so expensive. I don't remember when I started paying, so I can't figure out when I will be able to stop paying. I sent an email to Michal so she could tell me. I look forward to paying that off.

    I found out that I will not qualify to become a Board Certified Behavior Analyst without something like 3,000 supervised hours of work, so that's out of the question. I can't work at all! I thought about dropping out of the program, but I need the refunds to buy groceries. I do not get an inflation adjustment to my incomes until December 31st. I need them badly. I am sure I am not the only one either. 

    My dad asks me to do things for him all the time. He must not understand the load I'm carrying. I can't do the things I need to do for myself! I can't do more things... not for him, not for anybody. 

    He wants us to meet at Myrtle Beach on Saturday to go out to eat. Ugh. More work and expense. I'm not retired! I'm exhausted just thinking about the drive there and back!

    Ms. Dee saw me the other day and told me I look great! That was a nice feeling.

    I was listening to a hip hop radio station yesterday afternoon and man did I feel young again! I remember those songs from the 90's! I remember watching BET and rollerskating too. 

    I had to buy another bookcase to put these books up out of boxes so I can see them. I bought an under the sink shelving unit to store my cleaners too. I don't know when I will be able to afford to get the cabinets replaced. I still need the kitchen floor replaced too. 

    I need to start my yoga program once I get the living room floor cleared up, and start walking on my incline trainer once I get it cleared off too. I will feel so much better over time, and I'll likely lose weight faster from moving more!

    My hair is growing nicely. I spray it with moisturizing aloe and blueberry oil spray to brush it every day. I can't wait for it to get really long again. I miss my "warrior locks", the hair I grew from all that time in the Army and never cutting it. 

    This new fitbit strap works perfectly for me now. I can stand to wear it all day and all night, minus washing my hands, or washing dishes. I have seen that I don't sleep deeply for more than 30 minutes in the night. I don't normally sleep for more than 5 hours total, a night. It's pretty cool that it can tell that stuff. My resting heart beat is around 89. I don't walk more 2,000 steps a day. 

    I've got my Apollo neuro on my right wrist. I use it to signal different times throughout the day. It is supposed to help me be more resilient overall. 

    Caleb found my slide-on sandals by Sootheez. I love these things, but i have to keep them away from Bubba who likes to chew on shoes.

    Bubba hasn't been doing well lately. We think he might have blood in his poop. I might need to call the vet about that today. I don't know what he got into. Caleb doesn't watch him closely when he lets him out of his crate.

    I had the most relaxing rest the other day when I feel asleep holding Bella next to my ribs. under my arm. I love her so much!

    I bought a special necklace to help me quit vaping so much. It is a whistle that is tuned to 528Hz, the love frequency. It doesn't sound loudly, so I can use it whenever I feel like I need to vape, instead of vaping. It will replace the inhaling with healthy inhaling. 

    I have been deep breathing before I fall asleep. I have also been reviewing Reiki symbols and mantras while I am trying to rest before I actually fall asleep. It is helpful to reduce my nervous feelings that I haven't been able to shake. They keep me awake for hours when all I want to do is go to sleep. 

    I walked away from buying alot of cute shoes from Torrid yesterday. I don't have extra money to spend on things I don't need right this minute. The boots were awesome though! I gave away just about all of my shoes thinking I would never be able to wear them again. Even my boots were donated. One day I will have a new collection of cute shoes. 

    It's getting late, and I haven't completed all my morning routines yet. It is 0703 now, and it's light outside already. Be blessed my readers!

    

    

    

    

    

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