So it is 0623 right now. I have been awake since 0430 this morning. I woke up with my CPAP turned off, and soaking wet in my own sweat. I had to get out of bed and cool and dry off. I took my medications and read my emails. I checked Facebook notifications. Then I started organizing my crystals that have been sitting in boxes on the floor behind my chair for some weeks now. I have plastic jars with lids to put them in so I sorted them out and put some of them in jars like I wanted. I only put about half of them in jars. I will have to go back and put the others in jars at a later time. I bought multiples of the same crystals to be able to do crystal grids. Each crystal comes in a sachet bag with a description card individually. So I have to take each card out and place it in the jar as a label, and each crystal out one at a time. It's time consuming and messy. I had bags all over the table from this process. I found the crystals I bought for Caleb, Christinia, and me to go to school with. One is called Dumortierite and it "enhances memory, retention, and increases mental focus, discipline, and overall processing. A third eye chakra stone, it also activates latent psychic abilities and opens you to divine inspiration." I have another crystal for us too called Eclipse Stone/Silver Feldspar. It "reveals what's hidden from you. It helps you achieve your dreams by stimulating creative thinking and self-awareness. Eclipse stone opens your imagination, aligns the chakras, and is good for astral travel." I might have to create a care box for Chrsitinia soon. I bought these for all of us to have one while we study our classes. I like crystals. I wear them almost everyday. I wear about 6 mala bead necklaces, and 7 crystal rings. I like to wear witchy earrings ... they don't have any crystals in them. I have been considering buying a crown since the ones I have fall off. I will wait though. I have to make money before I start spending like I'm not on a budget.
It's Sunday morning and I feel ok now that I have been awake for a couple of hours and my medications have settled in my stomach. Yesterday Caleb and I woke up around 0230. I stayed up for about an hour but wasn't feeling well, so I went back to bed. I started answering more questions from the Autism book I have been reading lately. I might answer more later this morning.
Yesterday Caleb and I had a slow moving day. We went and picked up his meds from CVS and then went to Lowe's Foods. They had the boneless pork ribs that we like on sale, and I wanted to buy some. I found alot of keto snack bars there so I got a bunch to try. They had the stuffed cherry peppers that I like to snack on again, so I bought some of those too. I bought ground beef to make Caleb some hamburgers one night. I bought NY strip steaks on sale for only $5.99/lbs.
I talked to my dad for a long time about stuff we dealed with in the Army. He asked me to call the Ford dealership for him to ask some questions about parts, so I did. After that, though, I was tired and needed a nap. I rested for a couple hours and then Caleb and I went to exchange the propane tank at Food Lion so I could grill my dinner.
Friday I was grilling dinner and the flames went out. I figured we ran out of propane. I wasn't thinking and went to relight the flame. Well, it certainly caught fire! Damn! Almost burned my whole forearm! I will never do that again! I told Caleb to never do what he saw me do either.
It rained alot Saturday so we stayed inside most of the day. We did go to Walmart when the rain stopped. I had to restock on Diet Mountain Dew. We stopped at CVS on the way back from Walmart and was the first car to get turned away because it was time for the pharmacy to take lunch. We go through the drive thru so I was hoping we would have gotten Caleb's meds in time, but we didn't. We waited for 3 cars in front of us to be turned away. Sucked.
I wanted to grill out Saturday but thunder storms were going on and off all day, and it was raining when it was time for dinner. I was scheduled to be on a live interview online, but I cancelled it because I wasn't feeling well. I don't think I will be scheduling interviews anymore. I can't seem to keep my appointments. I do want to do my own live videos on facebook though. I think if people see me on video, and I talk about the books I contributed to, I might be able to sell some.
I received the first of a few critical thinking textbooks I ordered to be able to teach Caleb. I think it important enough to start it early. I took a critical thinking textbook based class at Sandhills Community College the Summer after I graduated high school. I might still have the textbook! That's how important I thought it was all this time.
I don't know what I am going to do today. I still have laundry to wash. I have to clean the kitchen again. Caleb put together my new bookcase yesterday, so we will be able to place it where it belongs today. I will likely spend some time putting my books away and getting rid of boxes. I am still working on the living room, although Caleb cleared a big space for me. I am trying to get everything put where it belongs, but I get sidetracked with things like having to exchange the propane, and having to restock the dew. I have been listening to hip hop radio lately on the all-in music machine Christinia bought for me. She must know that I truly love music. I really do. When I was younger, there was nothing I did without music when I was on my own. My chores did not get done without music. That was for sure!
My hair is growing out nicely. The pony tail braid I wear it in touched my neck now. I want it to grow to my butt! Warrior locks here we come!
Bella got hurt by something sharp yesterday while she was outside playing with Bubba. They were running after eachother and she must have hit one of the stakes from the shed while they ran around the shed. It dug into her side and left a laceration. She is missing hair there now. It did not bleed, but it did look like it hurt. Poor girl.
Bubba has been sleeping in my bed with us lately. He likes to cuddle so it is nice for me. I sleep better with everybody in the bed. The four amigos! Caleb has fewer nightmares when he sleeps in my bed with us. He sleeps more deeply, and so do I. There are some things medications just can't fix, but the love of family can.
On Monday night I have the group zoom call with Coach Brandi and Coach Nick from Unleash Your Life. On Tuesday night I have a zoom meeting with the Ignite Your Light women and Michal. On Wednesday I have the psych eval reporting appointment where I will get my results of the testing I did about two weeks ago. Later that afternoon Caleb has his therapy appointment. The rest of the week is free of appointments so far! I have to do my week 3 studies for my Capella class. Working on this class hasn't been stressful, and I am so glad about that because I was living in high anxiety before class started.
I had my appointment with Breezy, my academic coach last week. I explained to her that my studies are more for personal use than it is for professional use at this time. We had a good introduction phone call meeting. She is really nice.
I have already registered for next semester. I am waiting for them to post the ICS meeting times for the second class. I forget what ICS stands for. I know it means something like live meeting with class that is required. That might make things a little more difficult for me, but I think I can manage it.
Looks kinda gloomy outside this morning. I like that it has cooled down over the last few days. I'm ready for fall. I even bought my smaller size leggings at half-off already!
Friday I wrote a different chapter to be included in Cindy Ann Rogers' anthology, "Return to Me," but I ended up retracting my chapter. I pulled out of the project. After my facebook messenger conversation with Cindy, I did not want to work with her anymore. I did not like how she treated me. She could not understand that the chapter I wrote for her book was about my mental health, which yes, was included in the chapter I wrote for "Let Go or Be Dragged." I attempted to write more in detail about the mental health part for her book, but she did not like that it sounded too much like what I wrote in Sheila Farr's book. Ugh. WTF. So I wrote another chapter on Friday with the hopes that I could submit it for editing before the deadline. I used something I wrote for another project to start off with, that obviously I never used before. I was feeling ok when I sent to Cindy, but later on, after Sheila read it, I felt off. I felt like why am I working so hard for someone else's book? I told Sheila that I would just focus on my own book. I mean, why should I have to deal with the frustration of trying to fit someone else's ideas of what is a return to God? God is not Christian. God is God, and is accessible through many means and paths. I am a Christian Witch and Reiki Master, and that will reflect in my writing. I am not some church-going, Bible-thumping, Christian woman from the 50's.
From "I Think I Might Be Autistic A Guide to Autism Spectrum Disorder Diagnosis and Self-Discovery for Adults," by Cynthia Kim:
“B3. Intense or unusual interests”
1. “Do you tend to get obsessed with certain topics
sometimes for reasons you can’t explain?”
Sometimes
2. “When you’re interested in a topic, does it seem to take
over many aspects of your life? (examples: you find yourself talking, thinking,
and reading about it, collecting and making things related to it, relating to
many diverse aspects of your life to it)
Yes
3. “Do you have an object that you like to have with you at
all times, especially something that’s unusual for your age?”
Yes
4. “Do you find that you naturally focus more on the details
of things than on the whole? (for example, when you walk into a new coffee
shop, you might notice a sign then a person then a pattern on the wall then the
sound of the espresso machine rather than immediately perceiving where you need
to go to order your coffee)”
Sometimes
5. “Do you have interests that are unusually intense
compared to your peers? (for example, you’re a college student majoring in math
but you are as well-versed in seventeenth century Italian opera as a music
professor specializing in the subject)”
I don’t
think so.
6. “Do you have highly unusual interests? (for example, are
you intensely interested in methods for training champion fighting beetles or
do you have the world’s largest cigar band collection?)”
No
7. “Do you have a narrow range of interests?”
No
8. “Does your leisure time always focus on just one or two
activities or topics?”
No
9. “Do you have a passion for numbers, letters, words or
symbols, including individual specimens (such as the number 3) or categories
(such as primes)?”
No
10. “Do you consider yourself or have you been told that you’re
a perfectionist?”
No
11. “Do you like to collect and/or categorize items?”
Yes
12. “Do you have large collections of factual knowledge,
particularly in a specific category like dates, models, statistics, or systems?”
No
“B4. Atypical sensory experiences”
1. “Do you prefer certain textures and/or find certain
textures hard to tolerate?”
No
2. “Do you find the textures, features or styles of clothing
(e.g. tags, seams, high/tight collar or waist)
that don’t seem to bother other people are irritating or even upsetting to you?”
No
3. “Do you find showers, haircuts or other common self-care
tasks physically uncomfortable or painful?”
Yes
4. “Are you unusually sensitive to light touch on your skin?”
Yes
5. “Do you notice physical sensations that others don’t seem
to notice, such as the feeling of air moving in an air conditioned room?”
Yes
6. “Are you unusually sensitive to heat or cold?”
Yes
7. “Are you easily startled by loud sounds or do you find certain
sounds painful?”
Yes
8. “Do you have unusually sensitive hearing?”
Yes
9. “Do you often hear sounds that others don’t notice?”
Yes
10. “Do you have difficulty following conversations when
there is a lot of background noise?”
Yes
11. “Do you find a certain type or intensity of light
painful or otherwise hard to tolerate?”
Yes
12. “Are you unusually sensitive to specific smells, often
to the point that if you can’t escape them you’ll become physically ill?”
Yes
13. “Do you find it impossible to eat certain types of foods
due to their unpleasant taste or texture?”
Yes
14. “Do you sometimes become physically ill (nauseous, dizzy,
severe headache) around certain types of sensory input (e.g. fluorescent
lights, sirens, strobes, machinery)?”
Yes
15. “Do you have an unusually high tolerance for pain?”
Yes
16. “Do you enjoy watching moving objects for extended
periods of time?”
No
17. “Are you strongly drawn to certain smells or visual
patterns?”
No
18. “Do you seek out certain types of movement like swinging,
bouncing, speed, or flight?”
Yes
19. “Do you seek out deep pressure such as tight hugs, heavy
blankets, or tight spaces?”
Yes
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