My Life As I Know It: A Journal: 5 Year Journal Day 34

Today's prompt is "On a scale of one to ten, how sad are you? Why?" I may still be grieving my past and lost relationships, but I don't feel sad at all, so one. Writing this blog allows me to release things that were not my fault, or that were not in my control that I have carried emotions about. I get to share photos I haven't seen in many years. I also get to share funny stories that make me laugh. Don't forget, I am on anti-depressants among other things. I don't know. I think maybe it was just time to let go. Losing my dad the way I did was a huge disappointment. I know I deserve better. I am working on healing and moving on. I am active about it.

Friday night I got a call that Billy got out of jail. I had to go pick him up. I haven't seen him in over a year. My dad and he got into an argument where my dad was going to fight him. It was about the lawn mower not working properly. Stupid shit. I didn't want to go get him as it was already after 9pm, and I was just getting ready for bed. I did it anyway, knowing he had no other way to get home. He lives beside me. He crashed in the guest room for the night because there are no services on in his house. He hasn't been able to pay his bills while in jail. He was around for the day and had his old roommate pick him up around 5pm. I hope he gets his life back together now that he has paid his debt to society.

Also on Friday, Caleb caught a blue crab at the park. Of course he just had to bring it home and show me. Here are his photos.

Today I completed my workout goal! I walked for 5 days this week! It took a lot to make it happen, but I did it, and I'm proud of myself.

I am keeping up with drinking the full 160 fluid ounces of water daily too. Plus I still drink Diet Mountain Dew! LOL I'm always drinking. I call it the diabetic thirst.

I have fallen behind on most things. I don't have the energy I need to get everything done all the time. Plus, as soon as I clean one area up, within minutes, it's a mess again because of Caleb leaving his stuff around. So, I do what I can, when I can. That's all I can do.

I've got some pictures of Caleb when he was younger. I miss that little boy so much!