I had to get up this morning because I was soaked in sweat and needed to air out. I can't sleep if I'm hot. I bought a portable air conditioner unit last year, and have not completely set it up. I think it might be time to do that later on today.
So today we had to run to the Emergency Room. Caleb had a fall at the park, by the water, on some rocks and oyster shells and cut hand pretty deep. Some good Samaritans brought him home on their golf cart. The Medic in me took over right away, I didn't flinch even for a second. I helped Caleb wash his hand with anti-bacterial soap and water, douse the wound in iodine, and apply neosporin and a non-stick gauze and wrap to cover it. It takes about 20 minutes or so to get from the house to our choice of ER, Dosher Memorial Hospital in Southport. From the time we got there to to time we left was about 2 hours in total. I have never left that ER in less than 4 hours, so we did pretty good. The doctor who was working was awesome, and so was the nurse. Sometimes we win, other times we have to suck it up and move on.
Sometimes I wish I could have worked as an EMT. I studied so hard to pass the National Registry for EMT. I worked from dawn until dusk Monday-Friday for weeks on end in San Antonio at Ft. Sam Houston. I still have my books and notes.
Caleb swears he doesn't want to go back to the park, but I wouldn't be surprised if he asks me later on today to go again.
They used something called "Steri-strips" instead of sutures. We didn't have this when I was studying. I think it's cool.
In other news, I took some not so photogenic pictures of myself today.
My mustache.
My beard.
My white hairs.
Yep that's PCOS and age setting in. I've been told I should wax and dye my hair, but that's just not me. I shouldn't be ashamed of things I can't control. Besides waxing hurts, and dying damages my hair.
Well, Caleb had his evaluation at the occupational therapist's office today. He was referred by his psychiatrist, and we should hear something in about a week. I hope they can help him some kind of way.
I made it through my walk this morning. Day 2 of Week 3 is done! I'm really proud I have made it this far without quitting. I hope I reach my goals. Yesterday I posted that I wanted an accountability partner for my exercising on a weight loss group I belong to for the morbidly obese. One member offered to start a private group of all of us that commented and wanted to partner up, and now we have a new group of just us! Up until now, I have volunteered Nichole to take the position. I send her proof pictures that I walked for the day, whether she wants them or not. LOL So, because she has been less responsive lately, I took it upon myself to find someone who would be more supportive.
I am going to be attending a 2nd WoVen group starting later on today. I have been offered training to become a WoVen group leader too! I hope to meet more women who I have more things in common with.
I've re-focused my goals with Caleb. I think I am getting through to him, that I want to keep him from getting hurt and protect him from harm. I asked today, " Do you have more faith in my ability to care for you now?" after we got home from the ER. He said "Yes."
Earlier today, Caleb asked for alone time, and asked if he could read a book. Now that is something I will never say No to! I was pleasantly surprised at the request. I guess our interaction yesterday did some good. While we were arguing he took a basket of books and yelled "Here are your stupid books!" I said "Watch yourself! You start destroying my the stuff I bought for you, I'll start destroying your stuff too!" I also may have something to the effect of "You don't get smart playing video games all day, you get smarter by reading books and learning! " That was where the Trump comment came in. It fits as I think Trump is the most ignorant person to ever lead this country in my lifetime.
I told Caleb he has to take a math placement test, because the last time he took it, he showed no effort and scored as a first grader. He said, "I'm stupid," and I quickly responded, "No you are not!" I told him if wanted me to help him, I would, but he has to be willing to do the work. He said, " You can't help me! I have to take the test alone!" and I responded, " I can help you prepare for the test, Caleb." I can help him study this summer and he can take the test when he goes back to school. He has to be willing to sit still and work for a period of time though, without arguing. I have a collection of workbooks for summer studying that I wanted to use, but haven't, because he is so oppositional and defiant. I've got other things that need tending to too, ya know? I don't have to waste my time arguing with a child. He's only hurting himself. I'm trying to show him that. I keep telling him that it's only going to get harder. I want to see him successful. I want him to understand what his teachers are teaching. He has to be able to pay attention. I want him to be excited to learn new things. I think the PTSD has gotten the best of him, and I am breaking down some walls he has built up since the incidents with my dad.
I know he says things like "I don't care" when he really does. It's because he has been mistreated, He also use to say things like "I don't trust you." Well, that's understandable considering what he's been through. Having a cell phone has been helpful in showing that not only do I care, but other people care too. He can call Aunt Lisa or our cousins. He can call Grammie (my mom) or Kenneth. This is a time when people who care need to show it. He use to be able to call Nichole or his cousins, but they stopped answering his calls because he would call so often. We lack social time right now, and everyone needs to pull together to support one another, especially us. Only my Aunt Lisa and my mom ever call or text to see how we are doing. It's lonely and boring to repeat myself everyday with the chores. It's nice to chat. Caleb gets lonely and bored even faster than I do. It wouldn't be much different without the pandemic, not for us.
Later today, I have a plan for what I want to do. I want to start the laundry up, do my walk, cool off, start dinner in the crock pot (maybe), wash dishes and take it easy in the air conditioning. In the evening I have my WoVen group online and get to meet new people. That's a full day for me as I have to have Caleb collect all his clothes that have been scattered everywhere, and wash them. I haven't been keeping up with the dishes, so I have to catch back up. Caleb is going to help me get some of the floors cleared for vacuuming and shampooing.
Oh so... the new compression socks are working I think. I wore them today and my feet didn't hurt from walking. They cover up to the knee so they get a bit hotter than the other ones I wearing with the open toe. Those are ankle length. They are a good addition to have. My stride has not worked itself out yet. I am still off center when I walk. It's still noticeable, but I guess it's just going to take more time to adjust. My back isn't killing me after I walk. That's awesome! I can't wait to be able to walk even faster, and up higher inclinations! I just want to be as fit as I was prior to hospitalization. If a 90 year old lady can be a fitness model and competitor, I can do what I set out to do.
I remember being in Korea and getting ready for a change of command ceremony. Some of us were outside and marching, and I got called out. Apparently I wasn't staying in sync with the other soldiers. It's kind of hard to do when you have a leg longer than the other. Comments were always being made in basic training about how I was not marching right. I wasn't singled out, but I knew the Drill Sergeants were talking about me. I just had a feeling. I loved to sing cadence though. They knew when I was feeling good and when I was sick because the volume dramatically changed. I was in basic when everyone became concerned with MRSA. We passed the crud amongst ourselves over and over throughout the winter. I was living on cough drops! I couldn't breathe through my nose and was coughing all the time. It sucked.
Only those who have been through basic training in Ft. Leonard Wood to completion, have an idea what it is to be there for 2 classes. I was there twice as long as a normal soldier. Some "soldiers" didn't last the first phase (there were three). I was quiet in basic training. I figured out right away that it was not a good thing to be singled out by Drill Sergeants. Oh no. It wasn't going to be me. I tried to be as bland as wallpaper-ish as possible. When my dad came to what was supposed to be my graduation, and talked to Drill Sergeant Davis about how he was an Airborne soldier... oh man! He was like "Why didn't you tell me de Mello?" I knew they would push me even harder if I had told them. Shiiiiitttttttt. LOL
Yep. It may not mean much that I served in the Army as a woman in my time, but I happen to be the first female to serve in the military in my family. I'm second generation Army. In case you haven't figured out, I like finding my significance in out family history. If Caleb decides to serve, and is Airborne trained, he will be the third generation of Airborne trained males. Pretty impressive considering neither of my parents are American-born.
I wish I could have taken more pictures in training. I did not have a phone with a camera at the time. They were not yet available, if I'm not mistaken. It would have made looking for battle buddies a lot easier! Unfortunately, I lost all connection with my battle buddies once we were separated and went our separate paths.
I can't believe this female soldier in Texas has been missing for so long and no one thought to report it and investigate until , what has it been months later? If I didn't show up to work on time at work call in the morning, my First Sergeant would come to my residence and investigate as to why immediately. What the Hell? Who is in charge here? SMDH
And what about the George Floyd case? I haven't seen anything today regarding it. Usually I can't escape all the posts on facebook from the news.
I need to find out about mailing in my vote. I voted for Obama that way when I was in Korea. I don't want to go in person to vote this year. Too many people don't give a shit about the Coronavirus, and won't wear masks. If they won't wear a mask, which is highly visible, what else aren't they doing to manage the spread?
I've got my photo shoot coming up in July. I hope my photographer holds that baby in! LOL She is very pregnant. I hope the photos turn out as good or better than the last ones we took.
Southport usually has a whole day of festivities for the 4th of July, but all that is cancelled this year. Everything is going virtual. I think I read that fireworks will still be on display, but no gatherings of crowds allowed. Caleb and I have participated in the 4th of July parade with Warrior Ride once or twice. Unfortunately the founder passed away, and the non-profit was closed.
I am trying to get back into participating with Wounded Warrior Project, but I haven't heard anything from them recently. I don't know why. I might need to look into that.
I saw that the first woman has graduated from the Special Forces course. I wish that could have been me. That's so stinkin' awesome I can hardly stand it!
So apparently we are in a great energy shift from a 3D existence to a 5D existence. I'm not sure where I stand on this. I need to do more reading about what it entails.
Also, time travel has been made possible on a quantum scale. Now how the Hell do you measure going back in time? How do you know if a sub-atomic particle has travelled through time in reverse? Can someone explain this to me? I need quantum physics books for Christmas.
A friend of mine, who happens to be a Jehovah's Witness, says the end is near. I thought the end was near in 2001 on 9/11. Here we are in 2020 making things worse. I can't believe the damage and destruction we cause on a daily basis to our environment. Our water is tainted and polluted for God's sake! I can't filter my water enough. I won't even give the dog tap water to drink. She drinks the same water I do, filtered from the fridge. Organic food is more expensive than food that was raised with chemicals and artificial means. I eat mostly whole foods, and I can hardly afford to feed myself! As a matter of fact, I CAN'T afford to feed myself. I don't eat organic food because it's too expensive. My Aunt Lisa buys food for us on a regular basis.
I'm in a trap. My house needs repairs, so I want to refinance my mortgage. I can't refinance my mortgage because the house has to pass inspection with a VA appraisal. I can't pass inspection because my house needs repairs! Insanity! So I live in a house that needs a lot of work because I can't afford to pay to have it fixed without refinancing the mortgage first.
Meanwhile, I am struggling to pay my debts and increase my credit score. I really hate that I can not capitalize on my education and experiences. It's a sloooooow process because I don't make a lot of money. Heaven forbid something unexpected happens! On a positive note, I am only 2 months away from paying off 1 account, and 3 months away from paying off another account. I try to keep that in mind. I AM making progress.
I'm trying to give it what I've got. I'm doing the best I can with what's available to me. Deep breaths. I might need to move, but I don't want to move away because I have relationships with my medical team, and Caleb with his. I need to meditate on things.
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