It is now 0422 and I have already taken my medications. I have been awake for about 30 minutes. Yesterday was a busy day. I started with my 0800 appointment with Coach Brandi. That lasted an hour. We talked about my health and how my fibromyalgia is getting in the way of living happily. Coach Brandi gave me some suggestions that I intend to follow up on. I need to schedule an appointment with my primary care doctor as soon as possible to meet her and give her a brief on who I am and what I need. I will ask to see a fibromyalgia specialist per Coach Brandi's suggestion. She also recommended I keep a food journal to determine if what I am eating is causing the flare-up. I have been eating the same things everyday since I started the keto diet, so I know it is not the food causing my flare-ups. Per my conversation with Dr. Hueholt, I am trying to reduce my caffeine intake as I have noticed that it is exacerbating the anxiety I have. The same with vaping. I requested from my primary care team that I be sent nicotine patches to help me quit. I have tried the nicotine patches before and they did not help me quit before, but I feel like this time might be different.
I then had an appointment with Serena at DSS regarding child support for Caleb. I had to do a petition over the phone to file paperwork with the state of Arkansas DSS to continue trying to get Jamie McCurry to take a paternity test. I felt a lot of emotions after that call. Thank God Serena was pleasant to work with. After I got off the phone with her, I called my dad to let him know what was going on.
I also had a long talk with Caleb yesterday morning. I was very vocal after my call with Serena and told him about his behavior and what I expected and the consequences that would follow if he did not do as I say in the future. Caleb is very argumentative and also finds excuses to get out of doing work. Lately he has been on his computer a lot. Instead of just doing the work I tell him to do, he complains, argues, and delays. I'm tired of it. I've had enough. I'm trying to make things happen, and he's preventing me from reaching my goals.
I was very clear, concise, and direct with him. I did not bullshit in any kind of way. I was so serious about the whole lecture I gave. I am proud of myself.
Caleb had a therapy appointment followed by a psychiatry appointment yesterday afternoon. I brought up all my issues with Caleb at his therapy appointment. I felt heard and helped. I was given suggestions on how to proceed.
We went to put gas in the Mazda after his appointments, and to pick up his medication from CVS. We came home and I was tired.
I called my dad and talked for awhile. We talked about all kinds of things. I brought up the book by George Orwell, "1984," in our conversation. I am proud about that. I brought up the conflict over abortion in the country right now as well as the banned books. I brought up the private library of the Catholic Church. I asked, "If there is a reason to have a private library, where no public is allowed to read, I would imagine that the information would be used for the personal gain of the people who are allowed to read the books, however, it does not appear from the outside that anyone in the Catholic Church is any better off than the rest of us. So what are they hiding?" I'm dying to know. We talked about how the headquarters of the military branches were stationed at Yongsan in Seoul, Korea for more than 50 years, and only recently moved to Camp Humphreys, further South from the DMZ. I asked, "If Hitler did not have blonde hair and blue eyes, Arian Race, why wasn't he shot?" My dad talked about Trump and Putin.
It rained really hard for while yesterday while we were driving to and from Caleb's appointments. I witnessed lightning strike the ground as I was driving.
I got some homework done yesterday too. I went ahead and did my discussion post and responses. I got some reading done too. There is a lot to read. I don't think I will continue school. I don't have the energy to give to both Caleb's homeschooling and Capella University. I have to choose one. I choose Caleb's homeschooling. I will complete this class I am in and then withdraw from the program for now, with the option to go back when I am ready.
I finally took a shower yesterday morning. Feels good to know I am clean.
I had no energy to cook dinner last night. I ate ham and cheese.
I am wearing my new far infrared tank top. It is not as strong in compression as my other tank tops, but it is soft and feels good on my skin.
I have been out of ketosis for the past few days. I think my problem is with these snack bars that are supposed to be keto-friendly. I am going to stop eating them.
Today we have no appointments. It is going to be a cleaning day all day, minus maybe some homework time. I am going to sit down with Caleb and write a list for him to do with the instructions that if he does not understand something, he ask me about it. It should be pretty simple though. I want to make a salad today. I don't know if the vegetables in the fridge are any good. I have to check them out.
I am making an effort to drink more water. I am taking the Hydroxyzine for my anxiety until I learn how to overcome it without medication.
This morning I listened to the Unlimited Abundance track 13, the LightBody Activation meditation, and am now listening to "Abundance and Prosperity" audio track from the Infinite Blessings package.
I went to the Facebook group that Erica has for the tele-call listeners, and watched her short video from yesterday.
I listened to "Divine Grace" and "Love" from the Infinite Blessings package. I am starting to wind down. I still have to do the rest of my morning routines. I talked to Caleb about having a morning routine the other day. We are going to sit together and talk about what is important to start the day off right every morning and write it down so he has a checklist, just like I do. He can refer to it when he is tired, sleepy, or forgetful and make sure he gets his routines done. I told him about how important self-care is. He was falling asleep to me talking so I don't know how much information he actually got from that conversation, but I tried. We will work on that today, as well as setting up a working schedule for this semester's homeschooling.
Coach Brandi is asking why I am resisting coming to the meetings. She doesn't get it. It's like, if I don't feel good, I don't want to be around people. I don't want to sit for 2 hours on the computer. That's all there is to it. She is trying to read into the situation like maybe there is something else happening. I'm not happy about that. If I say I don't feel good, it's because I don't feel good. If I say I need rest, it's because I need rest. There is nothing else about it. I have fibromyalgia. It's not uncommon to have flare-ups with fibromyalgia. They are completely debilitating. She mentioned something about me looking up what fibromyalgia is and how it works. I know how my body works, and I've had fibromyalgia for years. I don't need to read anything about it to know. I have already done my reading when I was trying to figure out what the Hell is wrong with me. If she wants to learn, she needs to read, not me.
I'm feeling kind of tired. I think I may go lay down for a bit before I start my day. Be blessed my readers!
No comments:
Post a Comment