It is now 0629, and I just woke up. I was exhausted and fatigued when I went to bed sometime after 9:30pm last night. I worked all day on my literature review and wore myself out. I turned in a paper I wasn't totally thrilled about because I was too tired to do anything else to it. I'm hoping for at least an 80. I don't think I wrote a proper literature review. I needed to rewrite my draft many more times before I got it right, but I did not have the energy to stay up any longer. I worked for 12 hours yesterday, mostly on the paper.
I am listening to Unlimited Abundance track 1,2, and 3 again. I will listen to the whole series again, one day at a time.
My paper was on the topics of Autism Spectrum Disorder and the use of video games as a form of therapy. There were things about the paper I submitted that I was not happy with. I did not think that I clearly made any of my own points that were backed by the data. It has literally been more than a decade since I have written a soft paper. My undergraduate is a bachelor's of science in business administration with concentration in operations management. My papers for that degree were all numbers, facts, and figures, graphs, and charts. It wasn't about tying sources together. I was the source. To say this assignment was difficult is an understatement. I needed at least 2 more whole work days to get it right. I needed more time to make sense of the 60 pages worth of references I was using. I will see how badly I did soon enough I guess. It sucks because that paper is worth 25% of my course grade. I even thought about turning it in a day late to get it right. It wouldn't have been enough though.
Today is Monday. I only have the zoom group appointment for Unleash Your Life tonight. I had to skip the appointment yesterday to work on my paper. I ordered Caleb Domino's pizza for late lunch/dinner. My body is still sore from the stress and sitting in one position all day yesterday. I need to take my medications. BRB
I took all my medications except the Victoza already. I will wait to take that because it's a shot. I am planning to do more schoolwork today so that I don't wait until the last minute on something big and important. I knew I would have trouble writing that paper. There were so many differing instructions that it was confusing. I knew I would not have the time I needed to give it because I chose to go see my dad for his birthday. I wrote about it before it happened. I tried my best with the time that I had left.
I am listening to "Love" now. Going to listen to it a few times before I listen to Lightbody Activation.
I struggled to keep Caleb on task yesterday. It was frustrating to have to keep on him while trying to write my paper. I should not have to stand over him for him to get his chores done. I hate it.
Alright. I took my Victoza. Bella is out here with me. She is my puppy with 7 years of experience. LOL
Caleb is still sleeping. I kept him up with me while I worked on my paper. I called my dad while I was on my breaks. I need a rest from working on the computer after every couple hours or so.
I never started the laundry because Caleb never cleaned the laundry room. It is making me angry. I just want to be able to wash the clothes! I want to clean up the kitchen sometime today. I definitely need to rest after yesterday. My body aches everywhere. Hopefully my medications will help me to feel better soon.
Caleb's shoes are due in the mail today. I don't think there is anything else coming today.
I took a shower yesterday, and was not totally worn out after I got dressed for the first time in many years. I might be able to increase the frequency of taking my showers as long as it is not killing me to do it. I had to put on a heavy sweater yesterday because I was actually freezing for the first time in many years. It has been years that I have been morbidly obese and having hot flashes and lots of sweating under what would be considered normal conditions. I keep the thermostat low because I hate feeling like I'm constantly sweating and burning up. Most of my clothes were tank tops and shorts. Now I am able to wear t-shirts and leggings and feel comfortable. It's great! I love the positive outcomes from losing weight. I hope to continue losing weight.
I just ordered meditations from Jana Carrey. I need to go back to Magdalene Rose Temple and relisten to everything I bought from there. I am going to create my own program with all these audio files. It will be awesome. I have so much healing to do. I was just thinking about what I am going to do when I run out of Erica Rock's files. Well, I am listening to some of them over again because I do not feel like I am done with them. I am also doing Erica's monthly program that she has, so I will always be updated with the latest. I feel secure in this routine.
I am beginning to feel better in my body. My pain is going away. I just want to snuggle in bed. I am tired again. The sun is out. It is 0755. It is a lot later than I thought. I swear just a few minutes ago it was 0700 and my alarm was going off. Thank God I don't have to drive today if I don't want to. I don't have to go through what I go through when I leave my house. No worries today. Just gotta relax and recover.
I have to wake Caleb up in a few minutes. He has to take the trash and recycling bins to the road for pickup. I'm not really ready to handle his energy right now. I have not finished listening to Lightbody Activation yet either. Just a few more minutes left.
I felt like my Autistic traits really showed themselves yesterday as I was trying to get my homework done. I have a hard time learning new things. Writing a literature review on professional journal articles was new to me. I have a hard time following instructions when they are not clear, direct, and simple. I had multiple sources of instructions that were saying different things to pay attention to. I have a hard time remembering what I read and write. I had to read the journal articles over and over and over again. The same with my paper. I have a hard time with language comprehension in general. It took me a long time to mentally digest what I was reading and try to come up with my own words. I just feel like other people don't have these problems. I feel like I had to put a lot more time into writing that paper than the average student in my class. I think I should bring these things up to my academic advisor and my professor.
I am listening to "Divine Grace" and will follow it with "Peace," "Forgiveness," and "Physical Healing."
Caleb is awake. Time to let the dogs out and take the bins to the road!
I just forwarded a lot of information to Dona Sharon's email about the meeting that was sent to me by Rick Goodman.
I think I might have to go grocery shopping today. I don't trust the meats that have been in the fridge for a week or more. I am going to throw them away. Such a shame when I don't have the energy to cook what I want to eat for dinner and have to throw away food. I hate that. I am hoping to have better days ahead where I can cook more frequently and have fewer aches and pains.
I have to remember to eat the hard boiled eggs for breakfast. They are helping me stay in ketosis, which I need to do in order to lose weight right now.
I need to check to see if I ordered my prescription refills from VA. I am getting low on Metformin.
I have to call VA mental health to schedule my next appointment and I have to contact the GI doctor that Caleb was referred to in order to schedule an appointment.
I think I will be able to pay some bills tomorrow morning.
Ok, so I just emailed Breezy, my academic advisor, with a request for the email to be shared with disability services. I then emailed my professor. Hopefully I will hear from them soon. I still have to get the rest of my morning routines done. I am kind of motivated to start this week's reading too. I have to do it while I feel up to it. I know I will be taking lots of breaks today so I can make it to the group. I don't remember the last time I participated in the group. It's scheduled too late in the day for me. I am sooo tired by 7:00 pm and have trouble enjoying the time I spend in group because I'm exhausted! It lasts 2 hours, and when it is over I go straight to bed. I'm not even kidding. Today, because I have no appointments, I should be able to take a good rest around 1400.
For now though, I need caffeine! I need energy!
Have a good day! Be blessed my readers!
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