Today's prompt is "Write down a new fact you recently learned." The indentation of the milk jug pops out when the milk is bad.
Yesterday I did not write a blog. I was too busy. My day started at 6:00 a.m. to get ready for my early morning appointment in Wilmington. We went and came back, and I immediately sat down to give Bella her treatments. Then I went to work on the computer paying the bills. I had a few minutes left so I placed an order with Chewy for Bella. After that, it was time to leave for Caleb's appointments. We went and came back. I was exhausted and hungry. I ate leftovers real quick and went to lay down.
So we had just spent time talking about how dangerous it is for Caleb to leave the house without permission, and what does he do as soon as he gets home? Disappears! I'm so frustrated and tired.
Sunday I had hoped to do the things I planned for Saturday that didn't get done. That didn't happen. I was exhausted and in pain. I stayed in bed for most of the day.
Today is Tuesday and I am moving slowly. I did not sleep well. It is 8:38 a.m. now. I am still trying to wake up and get myself together.
My workspace is cluttered with more paperwork. My kitchen needs work. Caleb has taken over the living room. I'm tired. I've been trying to figure out how I'm going to make it to my next paycheck. I'm trying to take things one day at a time, but budgeting is important and so is forecasting. Next month will be easier as I will have fewer bills.
Bella woke up and came to me. I rubbed her ears for her. I know they bother the shit out of her. My poor girl. She had a good night's sleep with me last night. It was not filled with licking herself and scratching. I'm doing ok with helping her. She needs good rest, just as much as I do. I sleep better when she isn't moving on the bed at night.
So I have been really focused on cleaning up lately, and the struggle continues. I did a really good job, but the work is never over. I did the big stuff. I am still working on the laundry. I had to let the kitchen go while I was working on other parts of the house. I am behind on the kitchen cleaning now, but that doesn't usually take me too long.
Homeschooling is restarting this week. I have to be able to find balance between Caleb's supervision and teaching and all the other stuff I am responsible for. That's not easy. Caleb drains me with his bad attitude and defiance. I am still taking the Wounded Warrior class for the next several weeks, and that makes me tired. I have let go of the Veterans Path class. I can always catch up on that later. I just took on more than I could handle at one time. The thing is, I have this vision of myself as being able to do these things, and so I try to do them and ultimately fail, because my vision of myself is from when I was healthier and Caleb was either not born yet, or in daycare. I think I have time for things that I don't. I forget how taxing it is to run this house, and I'm not even able to take a break without feeling guilty! I am as busy as I can possibly be.
I start bi-weekly Women Veterans' yoga group next week. I need that to help me move more which is one of my goals, and relieve stress.
Caleb is going to start some new medication soon, so hopefully that will help some.
I weighed-in yesterday and showed a loss of 4.6 lbs. Yep that's my hormonal changes. Back to baseline. I'm trying to make sure I am eating raw vegetables every day, salmon every so often, and of my usual cooked vegetables and a protein for dinner. I have started to eat cereal, which I shouldn't be doing, especially in the middle of the night, but I get hungry for it. Cereal is carbs and sugar and I'm not supposed to eating either. I am trying to make sure I drink enough water during the day, and not so much Gatorade Zero or Diet Mountain Dew. Yesterday was horrible because I lived on Diet Dew all day. I just had to go, go, go! I'm not supposed to be doing that, but I was tired, and had to stay awake some how. I am still taking those anti-inflammatory supplements. Once I run out, I will only keep taking the omega 3-6-9 , because supplements are hard to fit into my budget. I am not going to buy any more salmon, as Caleb doesn't like eating it, so... I will just take the supplements and I should be fine. I am going to stop buying pork butt roast. What's in our freezer is all we get. I am going to try to include more fish, but it really just depends on whether we can sustain it. I am going to be cooking more chicken breast. That's something Caleb and I can agree on. When I was at my fittest, in 2013, I ate chicken breast or tilapia for dinners with a mix of beans and vegetables.
The thing that is keeping me from losing weight soundly is my portion sizes. I have to slowly make them smaller. It's going to be hard because I only eat what I need to fill my stomach. When I feel full, I feel at ease and at peace. I'm going to have to let that go to lose weight. I'm going to be irritable and even more unable to sleep. Sucks that I have to make that kind of choice. My health is important to me though, so...
Caleb just turned off the window unit in the living room, and man did that make a difference in the sound pollution!
My appointment Monday was for diabetic shoes. I get 2 pairs a year, and it was time to order my new pairs. I ordered the same pair I already have for both. I plan on walking soon. I need to move more. I am not going to push myself like I did when I was younger and more able. I am going to take a slow walk when I start. I am going to try to contain my competitive nature, and just try to do what will get me into a healthy routine. That's what's important at this stage in my health, routines.
I haven't been using the alpha-stim lately. I need to start again, it really does help.
Well, I have to start my morning routine. It is 9:37 a.m. here.
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