Thursday, September 24, 2020

5 Year Journal Day 126

      Today's prompt is "Today was hilarious because_____." It wasn't. I was not in the same pain as I was, so I did not take the Tramadol, but I was sore, sleepy, and sluggish. I stayed in bed for the majority of the day. 

     It is now 1:41 a.m. here. I am awake because I got too warm and could not cool off. Yesterday was a shitty day for productivity. I felt weighed down. I was tired when I woke up because I did not sleep well. I was tired all day long. My whole body was sore. I did not want to take the Tramadol if I was not suffering the major pain I was suffering that I went to the ER for. 

     Today is going to be a busy day. I have to go to the post office, I have to get gas in the Mazda, I have to pick up one of Caleb's medications from the pharmacy, and we have to go to his appointment in the afternoon. I am scheduled to go to the Mom's small group at Generations Church after dinner time. I am going to need a nap after the afternoon stuff. That's a lot of running around. I have to call and make an appointment with Caleb's pediatrician for his annual physical and flu shot. I have to call AT&T about replacing the receivers in the house. They are not working properly. 

     Hopefully I will be getting my Swanson products delivered to me on Friday. A partial shipment is expected then. I would like to feel better than normal soon. I am not in pain right now. I am burping up the brussels sprouts and sausage I had for dinner though. Kinda gross. 

     Bella did not get up from bed. Caleb woke up to get a drink. Otherwise it is quiet, other than the air conditioner. 

     Caleb spent most of his day fishing. I could not stay awake, so... I wanted to get stuff done, but I could not force myself to move. I only got up to take my medications, and give Caleb his medications, and to eat or use the bathroom. I am hoping for a better day today. I don't really have a choice. I have to be where I have to go. 

     I look like a rag doll. My hair is all jacked up and I've got stains on my clothing. I was going to take a shower to feel better, but I never made it. I will take one in the morning when I get up. 

     There's not much going on to talk about. I am recovering from the Hell I lived through last week. I am wondering if I should ask to be referred to an acupuncture clinic. The VA does that now. There has to be a better way to manage my pain. I have to be able to live my life. I have things I need to do all the time. I can't be out for weeks. I feel guilty for taking a day off. Just think about how I feel now. 

     I need to be using my alpha-stim every day. It is also used for pain. There is a special wand piece that comes with the version I have that is for pain. I need to train Caleb how to use it on my back. 

     I ran out of Gatorade Zero, and Walmart did not have it when we last went, so I am drinking more flavored ice water, sugar free of course. I drink a lot. I drank 168 fluid ounces of flavored ice water in less than 24 hours. I wasn't up for most of the day, and I was thirsty like you can't even imagine. I am thirsty now! It never ends. 

     I don't know if I mentioned this before, but my ballot was accepted by the County Board of Elections!

     Aunt Lisa sent us a Sam's Club food goodie box! It had a variety pack of pop-tarts, baked beans, and something else for Caleb, and Vienna sausages and kettle corn for me! Caleb eats the Vienna sausages when he is in the mood. Yay! 

     My mom has been calling me to see how I am doing. I like that she cares. She noticed that I did not sound ok, even though I told her I was "ok". I was tired and in bed, but not yet asleep. I was sore and miserable, just wanting to rest. I probably sounded like a zombie, instead of my normal up-beat self.

     My ears are itching inside. I wish there was a way to rub the inside of my ear to make it stop itching. 

     So I text messaged Nichole. It never said "delivered". I am guessing she blocked me. It's a good thing I find this out now. I don't want to depend on somebody in an emergency who doesn't have the decency to tell me that she never wants to talk to me again. I mean, really. It's not my fault she is voting for Trump and cares about nobody but herself. That's exactly how I see people who still support Trump after all this time. She has kids with special needs, how can she not be offended by Trump? Seriously. Not my circus. Moving on.

     I changed the people on my emergency call list. She won't be bothered by us in the future. 

     When Kennedi grows up, I will be sure to tell her about what happened, and why I didn't get to be a part of her life. 

     Anyway, it's now 2:28 a.m. and I have cooled down substantially. I'm going back to bed.

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