Today's prompt it "When was the last time you swimming?" I was last in a pool around this time last year when I was staying at a hotel because it was not safe to be in the house with John.
It is now 2:00 a.m. and I am awake because I got too warm and could not cool off. Yesterday I had yoga class online. It went well, and it helped me feel better. I was only slightly in pain when I woke up. I spent the day mostly pain free. After yoga, I thought about some things I needed to do. When I went to the ER, I realized that my emergency medical sheets needed to be updated. I worked on them, and updated them.
I do not remember how I spent the rest of the day. Class ended at 11:30, but I did not have my first meal until 2:00 p.m. I know I was working on my computer for the whole time. After lunch I went to rest for a little while. I was not overly tired like I am usually, but I was sleepy. I got up to supervise Caleb. There were some chores he needed to get done before I could get my chores done. I didn't get very far because Caleb took so long to do what I needed him to do. I did make dinner, though, so that was a plus. I only took one tramadol the entire day. I did not feel the need to take more.
My day was pretty uneventful. It was not particularly productive, but I was recovering from the day before. I am glad I updated the emergency sheets though.
I am really thirsty this morning. I will need to make a flavored ice water drink before I go back to bed.
I might be going to the VA later today to get my flu shot. I haven't decided. Other than that, I have no plans for the day. It really depends on how I am feeling. I would like to try to catch up on my chores and house cleaning. I might put on some music. I might read from the kindle. I need to be using my alpha-stim daily. I want to take Bella for a walk if I am feeling ok.
I have gotten out of the habit if giving Bella her allergy medication. I need to be doing that as she is still suffering seasonal allergies and itching.
Bath & Body works was having a sale and I was dying to buy stuff that I don't use. I don't use lotion. I don't use really smelly bath washes. I don't use body creams on myself. I use them on Caleb because his back always itches. They were from their Aromatherapy collection! Ugh! Hw I wanted to spend money that I don't have! It's only going to get worse as we get closer to Christmas. I gotta watch myself. I have to stay disciplined. It's not going to be easy. Temptation is everywhere.
I was in communication with my primary care, and they are going to refer me out to see a gynecologist per my request and per the ER doctor's orders. I have to wait to be referred out to a rheumatologist until my appointment December 23 because my primary care has to "see" me. I don't know why. They saw me earlier this year, and the only thing that has changed is that my pain has gotten more frequent and worse.
Bella never left the bed. She was sleeping beside me. I love it when she sleeps beside me. She is so soft. She lets me pet her when I wake up in the middle of the night. She does not mind at all.
I have to prioritize what I need done by professionals around the house so I can start making plans to get things done. I think I need to get a plumber in here to fix the shower knob for me first. I need to be able to take hot, warm, or cold showers as needed.
The next thing I need to do is save money to have this furniture hauled away.
Even if I want to sell this house, I have to be able to do the minimum first. I don't know if I can move. I don't know if I can start over some where new again. I don't know if I can save money to hire movers. I don't know how long it will take me to fix the house up. I don't know how long it will take me to fix my credit. I need good credit to be able to finance a new house, even with a VA loan. I need money to be able to pay closing costs too.
With everything that has happened, it has taken me a long time to get settled here. I still have very few friends. I have spent a many years recovering from my hospitalization, and other problems that came after that. I have also spent many years supporting other veterans, and focusing on them, instead of me.
Then there is the issue of VA health care. It takes a long time to get into a new clinic. It takes even longer to set up all the referrals that I would need. I think I am better off here for now. I can work towards fixing the house and saving money, but I do not see myself being strong enough to handle a move. It causes so much anxiety just thinking about it.
October is nearing. I have paid off the movers of the free furniture finally. That's one less bill I have. Bella goes to the vet in October for some shots. I am still recovering financially from buying her allergy meds.
Caleb is learning about medical science. He is learning about what parts of the body are called, the tests that are done in the ER, and the medication that was prescribed for my pain. He is on the case with me to find out what is causing the pain.
Caleb is learning a lot about fishing at the park. He goes to fish every day. He already has learned a lot about the different types of fish that live in the water near us. He knows about different kinds of bait used and different kinds of lures used.
Caleb caught a garden snake yesterday, and brought it home to show me.
Caleb has learned some about golfing. He likes to practice putting in the yard.
Caleb is becoming more aware of what things cost, and why it's important to budget.
I am trying to teach him to be clean, and keep the house clean. He is hard headed at times.
Caleb has watched me care for Bella. We took care of her by brushing her, giving her a bath in anti-itch shampoo, drying her off, clipping her nails, and filing her nails, applying neosporin to her ear flaps until they healed from her scratching, then applying allergy cream to her itchy ear flaps, applying 3-way ointment to her paws, giving her allergy supplement chews, giving her allergy medication, and cleaning her inner ears.
Caleb has seen me try to keep the house clean the best I can. He has been doing his chores as requested, although, not without argument.
Caleb has been grocery shopping with me multiple times, and learned some things about the things we buy and how much we spend on food.
Caleb has seen me in the middle of paying the bills, and how much time I spend focusing on the little bit of money we have left over. He sees me get stressed and tired after working on our finances throughout the month.
Caleb has been going to therapy every other week, just like I have. Caleb has been seeing his psychiatrist more frequently than usual because of his medication change. He is going to occupational therapy once a week. He knows I have yoga every other week. I think he knows that I see a psychiatrist too.
We both have to get our yearly flu shots. I will need to schedule him an appointment with his pediatrician. He gets his flu shot at the same appointment as his yearly physical.
I need to find the cheapest way to get Caleb a laptop that will last him until he graduates high school hopefully.
I am a member of homeschooling parents groups on facebook and see that we are not the only ones having troubles. There are so many things that have to be taken into consideration, and many learning curves. Each family faces their own problems, but we face them together. I found a more specific group for ADHD and ODD homeschooling parents. ODD is a bitch.
My Aunt Lisa recently recognized me as having the motivation to lose weight, but being in pain all the time, which keeps me from moving. She is right! I fight hard to keep moving, and if I had it my way, I would not be in pain at all. I would be able to walk everyday like I use to, back when I was half my current size. I would be able to lose weight relatively quickly as I know what to do, I just can't do it. It's extremely frustrating that I do not get the treatment I need to be able to function on a daily basis, from my healthcare team. I have to work within the VA system right now though because I do not have money to pay the co-payments that would be charged from using the Medicare system.
I need pain killers! I need them badly! I have chronic pain. What is so hard to understand about that? Why do I have to fight to get pain relieving medication from my primary care? Why? This is why Veterans commit suicide. Honestly, I don't even want to live like this. This is not living. This is barely hanging on. And for what?
I have had so many Dews in the last however long I have been awake. It's ridiculous. I don't know why I get so thirsty. Must be that diabetic thirst.
Caleb is sleeping in the fort he made from the couch cushions on the floor in the living room. Bella must still be sleeping on my bed. It's quiet other than the window unit air conditioner. It feels good in here. I'm not as warm as I was when I first got up. It is now 3:26 a.m. here.
I am wondering if the pain was caused by my period. I was on my period all last week. I was not menstruating as I have not done that in a long time. I was on the last week of my birth control pills. The reason I am suppose to "skip" my period weeks is to avoid the pain that comes with my period. I have had to go to the ER for my period pain in the past. I have never felt it like that though. That, plus having just quit the use of anti-inflammatory dietary supplements... could be the reason behind all the pain and inflammation all at once.
I should know more by the end of the week. I am waiting on my culture labs results to come back. Dude, if that was just because I had my period, I never want to have another period again.
I don't want to drink any more Dew tonight and I am still dying of thirst. I am going to make my flavored ice water drink and try to go to bed.
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