It is 1:42 a.m. here. I am awake because I had to use the bathroom, there is a weird smell in my CPAP, and I needed new batteries for my e-cigarette. I am actually very sleepy, but figured since I was up, I would go ahead and write my blog. I write better without interruptions during the early mornings.
Today was a unproductive day. I had plans and forgot them as I kept feeling sick and having to lay down. I think the curcumin supplement I take is causing indigestion. I had my therapy appointment online. It went well. I continued Bella's care. Her ears are looking better, and her eye brows are looking better. Her paws are better to the point that I stopped putting ointment on them several days ago. I think the benadryl is helping Bella feel more relaxed and not as irritated.
Caleb was supposed to clean up his mess in the living room. but he didn't do it because I was not there to supervise him.
Bella is up and begging me to go back to bed. That's a sign that she is feeling better. She also has returned to being cuddly. When she was irritated, she did not want to be close to me, like she normally is.
Caleb and I tried to watch a movie together again last night. I was on my way to getting up and Caleb pulled my arm to fall onto him on the floor. It was a soft pull, and a soft rollover landing to the floor. I laughed and the movement made me toot! Oh man! I laughed so hard! Caleb kept trying to push me up and I could not get up. I was just laughing and laughing. Eventually I was able to get up but not before my stench wafted in front of Caleb. LOL He is a fart-loving boy.
We went to Food Lion to buy some Dew on sale, and the cashier was awesome. I don't know what prompted him to be so helpful and kind to me, but I sure do appreciate it.
I guess I was just tired from all the drama during the week, and trying to keep up with everything.
It's 1:58 a.m. and I just got a threat from William Coxwell on facebook saying "My daughter her husband my other son and my grandchildren along with my son my husband and my dad are my life you need to stay out of my daughters or it's going to be me and you." I hardly know this dude. I don't know why he is getting involved in something that has nothing at all to do with him. I do not appreciate being threatened by anybody. I guess Mathew and Nichole lost their ability to speak for themselves. I didn't. I'm not a coward! I will continue to fight for what is right. If that means I lose them, then so be it. It won't be my first time losing family. I haven't done a thing to them since text messaging Nichole a funny meme, and a message about being on my period. I haven't said a thing to Mathew since congratulating him on his promotion.
William Coxwell and wife need to stay out of MY life! They are NOT MY family. I am not harassing anybody. Once I didn't get a response to my messages, I let both Nichole and Mathew go their own ways. I haven't bothered them since. I may be grieving the loses and fail to understand how they can be so hate-filled, but I have every right to write what I please.
Anyways... like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, all this is taxing on a person.
I am so thirsty! Man alive!
I'm going to try to find some cadence tracks to start my walking program. It will help me walk in step, and not try to walk too fast. I feel pretty comfortable in my shoes, insoles, socks, and lift now.
I don't know what's wrong with people these days. SMDH Threatening me will not silence me. If you don't like my writing, don't READ it! It's that simple! Honestly, I know I have an addictive writing style that just begs to be read but really, if you don't like it, and can't stop, maybe you need some addiction counselling.
Bella won't stop begging me to go back to bed!
Caleb and I spent some quality time together. You would think that with all the time we spend together, that a lot of it would be quality time, but it's not. I spend a lot of time working on things that need to be done to run the household. Sometimes, I forget he needs me to just hang out with him and have fun. It doesn't come naturally, as I am a workaholic.
I'm glad we are at the weekend. I need a break from all the running around.
I cut my finger on a loose staple on the recliner. I didn't notice it was bleeding until I went to take my medications. Caleb patched up like a medic would! He asked me if I thought he would make a good medic one day, and I told him he cares about people so, yes, he would make a good medic one day.
Caleb wants to a put a flag in the front yard that is a black and white American flag with a green stripe through it. It is supposed to represent solidarity with the Army.
You know, it takes some kind of person to threaten a disabled veteran.
This is Trump's America!
It is now 2:53 a.m. here. Time flies as you get older. I don't know where all my time goes. I try to make my time meaningful. I don't have all the time in the world. What is really important?
I'm trying to make sure I will be around to see my future grandchildren and perhaps even my great grandchildren. I'm trying to give my son a good future. I'm trying to provide Bella a good life. In the meantime, I'm just trying to take care of business.
Apparently it hurts to be real and authentic with people. It doesn't hurt me. I'm just being me. I'm taking up the space provided to me and shining my light as I have created it. How dare I write the truth? Sorry, not sorry. I don't write fiction.
How dare I examine events in my life and try to heal from things that are hurtful! How could I do such a thing?
I have only been going to therapy on and off for 7 years. I have only been learning to dissect my problems and take what lessons I can from them and move on. Maybe that's a radical idea?
I am only leaving my writings behind so my son and his future children will know me from them.
I share my experiences with others to help myself, AND others.
Writing is good for memory retention. It's a form of mental exercise.
When you take offense to my healing process, that's a reflection of YOU, not me!
When you become defensive from my writing, that's a sign you have some work on yourself to do. YOU need to change, not me. I am already working on becoming the best version of me I can possibly be. Unlike some, I include others in the process hoping they will heal along the way too.
I DO have supporters. I am not alone.
I have been able to bring to light a great many things by writing. It's good for the spirit to release stress that I tend to pick up.
I am preparing for the next stages in my life. Writing helps me organize my thoughts.
The more I practice, the better I will get.
Unlike physical activity, this is something I CAN do.
This reminds me of a time when I needed gas money. I was flat broke. It was earlier this year. I asked Nichole to borrow $20 for gas for a few days until I got paid. She responded "I have to talk to Mathew first." I sighed, and said "No, forget it. I don't want to bother him on his deployment for his hard earned money. I will figure something out." I never asked for another penny. Just saying! A Warrant Officer's wife can't lend his disabled veteran and single-mother-sister $20 for a FEW DAYS! What does that tell you?
It made me feel like shit. Really, it did. We weren't worth a twenty dollar bill! Guess I should have taken the hint.
Now I got the in-law mafia after me. Well now, what could that possibly mean? Hmmm...
I better watch my back! Nichole's mom is coming!
It is now 3:30 a.m. here. Caleb is awake. I let Bella out just in case she that was why she needed my attention so badly. Sponge Bob is on tv.
The Labor Day traffic has already started here. I will probably spend most of the weekend at home, away from the chaos. The island just opened back up. They finally got it maneuverable by moving all the sand away from the road. They were still recovering from Hurricane Isaias.
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