Tuesday, September 22, 2020

5 Year Journal Day 124

      Today's prompt is " If you had a superpower for just one day, what would it be?" I would want to heal myself and others.

     It is 2:00 a.m. and both Caleb and I are awake. I have been trying to sleep since about 7:00 p.m. and been waking up every 2 hours or so since. I am too warm. 

     Yesterday I received a message from the VA nurse that I should go to the ER for my pain, so I did. I went to Dosher Memorial Hospital in Southport yesterday morning. When I got in the Mazda to go, the battery was dead, so I had to jumpstart it with my new battery jumpstarter. It worked right away, thank God. I had to take Caleb with me because I can not trust him to stay at home while I am away. I knew I would likely be gone for 3 to 4 hours. He had to wait in the Mazda while I was seen at the hospital. I did not have to wait long to be seen. Dr. Carley was on duty, and he was not a dick like another doctor I had seen previously was. I was treated with respect. I had a urine and blood lab done as well as a transvaginal ultrasound done to determine what was causing my pelvic and lower back pain as well as the inflammation that was occurring at various parts of my body. No infection or disease showed in my labs,  or through my ultrasound. I have to wait for the cultures to be sent out and results returned in a few days. I am hoping something comes back positive that is curable so I can fix what is causing the pain. Dr. Carley prescribed me Tramadol for 3 days and referred me to a gynecological clinic.  It doesn't sound like a lot but I was there from 11:16 to 2:00. 

     When we left, we went to the pharmacy to drop off my prescription. We then went to Hardee's for lunch. We picked up the tramadol on the way home. I came home and went straight to bed. I was exhausted, but couldn't got to sleep. I took my fibromyalgia specific dietary supplement and a tramadol. Most of my pain has gone away for now. I feel some remaining pain. 

     I have been resting lightly with Bella in my bed. I wake up to drink and cool off. I fall asleep while petting Bella. It does not feel cold in my room. I don't know why I am so hot. I might need to take a cold shower. 

     I wanted to take Caleb hiking yesterday. I had to cancel. I wanted to take Caleb to visit friends at the park, that had to be cancelled too. 

     The nurse at the ER was a woman. The nurse who took my blood was a woman. The x-ray tech was a woman. I was so glad to be surrounded by women, and not men. It took a lot of my anxiety away. 

    I am so thirsty. I have only one Gatorade Zero left. I am trying to drink it slowly. I really want a flavored ice water drink. 

     I am sitting in the flow of the air from the window unit air conditioner and it feels good on my hot body. 

     What am I going to do if the cultures return negative for infection or disease? How will I figure out what is causing my pain? How will I avoid the pain in the future? How will I medicate for the pain in the future if my primary care won't prescribe anything other than what she already has for pain? So many questions. 

     Well, from what we know so far, I do not have Pelvic Inflammatory Disease nor a Sexually Transmitted Disease. That's good in so many ways, but is bad in that those would have been easy to identify. I also do not have a life threatening condition requiring emergency surgery. That is a huge relief because with this much pain, you never know. My mind goes to the worst possible scenario without further information and so I was worried I might have a female reproductive system cancer. 

     Caleb is talkative this morning. Bella is still in my bed. She is so cuddly. Caleb found my old UNCW hoodie and is wearing it. He also found my old Combat Medic hoodie from my training school in the Army, and wanted to wear it, but I said to put it back. The UNCW hoodie can be replaced, the Combat Medic hoodie can not. 

     Caleb woke my Bella Boo Boo up. Poor sleepy head. 

     Well, that was my day. It may not seem like much, but it was exhausting. My back and pelvis still hurt. 

     Later today I have my Yoga class online with the ladies from the VA. I am hoping it will help me feel better. I have work that needs to get done. I need to not be stuck in bed all day. I might just have to rub Icy Hot everywhere and get to work. 

     I wish I could feel the air conditioner in my room as strongly as I can feel the one in the living room. It feels really good. 

     On the way to Hardee's from the pharmacy, Caleb asked me "Mom, Are you hungry?" I said "No." He asked, "Why not?" I said " Because I am nervous." He replied, "Mom, don't be nervous. I am here." It was the sweetest thing. He was so good for me while I was in the ER. He waited patiently in the Mazda and we stayed in touch on the phone. Aunt Lisa really helped with making sure Caleb was ok while I was handling my business in the hospital. She helped me think through things throughout the  day. I was not alone. I had my Aunt Lisa supporting me. 

     I need to know how my finances are going, so I am going to update my spreadsheets.

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