Today's prompt is " How did you start your day?" I start my Monday mornings by weighing in.
It is now 11:58 a.m. and I am awake because I got too warm and could not fall back asleep. Today did not feel like a productive day, but it was. I did not have pain. I weighed in this morning and lost 2 lbs. this week. It was probably water weight, but I'm still happy about it. I took my medications, and gave Caleb his medications. I had a hard time getting started with my day. I finally decided to get up and take a shower at some point. I got the laundry restarted, and folded some laundry. I gave Bella her treatments and brushed her teeth. I had a big salad for lunch, and gave Caleb his second dose of antibiotics for the day. We received the packages from Aunt Lisa today. One was the mattress protector and sheets, and the other was Caleb's workbooks. I decided to go and remove all the Dew cans from the passenger side that I accumulated over the last month or so from the Mazda. I also removed the trash from the trunk. I threw away 2 trash bags full right before the garbage truck came to pick up our garbage. I worked up a sweat. I picked up some trash that was in the yard too. I called the VA about my travel pay, and emailed them the form since they never received it. I chatted online with the Swanson team about my partial shipment that is due, and made some changes to my order. Last but not least I checked Caleb's shot records for his DTAP (Tetanus) shots. Before dinner, we went to Publix to pick up some bread. I do not remember the order of things, but that is what I did during the day.
I made sure that Caleb took a shower too. He is supposed to be washing his foot 2 to 3 times a day, where his puncture wound is.
I still have not finished cleaning the kitchen. I never made it past that point. I don't know what is holding me back. I do not have Caleb's cooperation in cleaning. It's frustrating. I will get to it eventually. I told Caleb that he need to work on his math studies today, but that never happened. He volunteered to clean out the Mazda for me, but then did not do it. I ended up going out there and cleaning up my part of the Mazda myself because I wanted it done.
Caleb asked every time he wanted to leave the house today. He also returned when I said to come home. That's a big deal.
I checked on Caleb's room today because he has been keeping the door closed. I wanted to see what was behind it, so I made him show me. It's a mess again, but he can clean it up this time.
I need to trim Bella's nail again. She needs a bath soon too. I might have to schedule her a spa day on Wednesday. I am thinking about going to get my flu shot later today (Tuesday).
We were invited to my friend Donna's house for Thanksgiving! YAY! I am going to be baking pies for us. I am so happy to not be stuck at home alone on this particular holiday.
I went to sleep on the new mattress protector and fitted sheet! I have sheets! I can now use my weighted blanket for what it was intended. It's awesome.
Later today I should be getting my new crockpot delivered from Walmart. I am excited about that too. I need the extra space in the new one to put the potatoes in with my ham to make my ham, potato, and pea soup. I think it's going to turn out delicious.
Caleb still has a lot to do on his list that I made for him. They are little tasks, but he has a lot of them. On a good day, he can do many of them without too much arguing. On a bad day, he argues and gets violent about every little thing, and it's impossible to get him to do anything.
Yesterday (Monday) he got angry out of the blue and for no reason. I wonder if he might be bipolar like John. Within a few minutes he was back to his normal self. It was weird. I'm going to have to talk to his psychiatrist about this. He also gets angry when I ask him to do things around the house. He is fine one minute, and then BOOM! He's outraged and out of control with anger.
I told Caleb he needs to get a grip on his anger when he got angry out of the blue. I was just having a regular conversation with him, and he got mean all of a sudden. He also told me that he did not want me to teach him. I said "Well, we are homeschooling, and I am your mom, so you have to make a choice. Do you want to go back to school? I will always be your mom, so no choice in that. It's my job to teach you how to behave." He didn't have any response to that.
I told him "You can't escape from life. You have to do your part. I need your help. You always want to take off and disappear. That's not how life is. You can't just run away from your responsibilities." It's not right, that he is out fishing while I am working all day, and getting nowhere fast. It's not right that we can not seem to work together. I am a good team player, he is not. He needs to change to be successful in life. We have to learn to live together, not just sleep under the same roof. I am doing much better at mothering now that I am not in pain. I feel like a lot of time has been wasted due to my chronic pain. I can't do both at the same time. Nobody seems to understand that. I don't function at all when I am in severe pain. I function very little when I am in "regular" pain. I function much better when I am in no pain.
Caleb asked me today "Why does your hair look so greasy?" I said, "Because I put grease in my hair!" LOL Duh. It does the trick. When I washed my hair today, I did not have any tangles or knots in it. The hot water did not dry my hair out. I use conditioner, but it only does so much. I mean, I have to rinse it out too.
When I got out of the shower today, I was out of breath. The water was too hot, and I take too long to do everything I need to do. My face was inflamed and burning red for about an hour afterwards. I even take my time getting dressed. I lay on my bed in front of my fan in my room to cool off and dry off before getting dressed. I don't know.
I felt dizzy today too. I checked my blood pressure and it was not high by my standards. I checked my blood sugar and it was not high by my standards either. I do not know why I was feeling dizzy and queasy. I drank water and had a "snack" anyway. I just sat still for awhile waiting for it to pass.
Bella looked sad to me today. I have never seen her look sad before. Something about her eyebrows and her eyes. She wagged her tail all the same for me though. Poor girl is miserable with those allergies. She scratched herself so hard she broke the skin close to her eye. I had no motivation to go for a walk today, unfortunately.
I have a lot of work ahead of me. I have to get Caleb into learning his math. I have to get the house cleaned up. It's impossible with Caleb trailing behind me and making messes as I go. I have to incentivize being clean, and keeping the house clean.
I checked up on my cousins today too. I wanted to make sure Max had something to eat. Apparently he gets wrapped up in what he is doing and forgets to eat. I wanted to make sure both Max and Mariel knew that I am around if they need me.
My scale has an app that it connects to on my phone. It gives me all these details of my body composition. It also tells me my BMR. It says my BMR is a little over 2,000 calories. It's hard to believe that it only takes 2,000 calories a day to stay this big. Sucks. I wish I could eat what I wanted and stay below 160 lbs. I would be ecstatic!
Bella just came out of the room and is being vocal. Yeah she wanted to go outside, and earned herself a cookie!
It is now 1:06 a.m. and I am wide awake because I have been chugging Dew. It's the carbonation that feels so good. I don't like other sodas as much as I like Dew. I don't like sparkling water either, and I certainly don't like seltzer water- YUCK! Caleb is sound asleep on the living room floor. I told him to put the couch back together and that I didn't want him to ever take it apart again because it bothers me.
I just put Caleb's reward chart together for Monday. I have to show him in the morning when he wakes up, that he earned 2 points yesterday, out of 4 available. His goal is to reach 10 points to make a dollar at the end of the week. The hard part will be coming up with that dollar since we are so broke, but I will have to find a way if he earns 10 points! I just found the dry erase marker for his reward chart! Woop! Woop!
Steady as it goes.
Walking the middle path in all things.
It's a long journey, but it IS a journey. I will get Caleb to learn what he needs to learn. It will happen. I have faith that I am doing the best I can do right now. I have faith that we will succeed together as a team.
I am trying to get him to learn about personal hygiene. I am not a good role model for that. I am still in survival mode in a lot of areas of my life because I have been dealing with various problems. Having high blood pressure is a problem when you want to take a hot shower. I am very thorough in my washing and take my time to be careful that I don't fall. I no longer worry about having a seizure in the shower, but it is still a possibility. My size makes it exhausting when you add that to the hot water and high blood pressure. So, the point is, I have reasons not to take as many showers as Caleb needs to. Me taking a shower, can be a scary ordeal. Caleb has no reason to fear taking a shower. He needs to shower at least once a day. I am reinforcing the need to use deodorant after every shower. I have to make sure he is using soap to thoroughly scrub his body. After he showers, I question him, and do a soap sniff test. Do I smell soap on Caleb, or not? Did he wash his hair? He doesn't like to wash his hair. Did he wash his face with the face cleanser I bought him to help him control breakouts? He doesn't like to wash his face either. Did he wash his feet?
I am trying to get him to realize the importance of oral hygiene as well. I am not a good role model for that either. He sees me flossing after meals, but he knows that I don't brush or rinse regularly like I should. I am working on doing better. It did not use to be a problem. It became a problem during my depression, and I have not been able to successfully add it back to my routine habits.
I am having trouble getting him to cut his nails. I don't know why. They are disgustingly long and dirty. He needs to cut them ASAP. His finger nails and his toe nails. They make him look like nobody cares about him, which isn't true.
I bought Caleb at least 3 packs of 12 pair sock packages. I have only seen a handful of socks to be washed. Where the Hell did all his socks GO?! I can't keep on buying him new socks. I just can't. I don't have the money to do that.
Caleb loves his new pajamas. He is wearing the reindeer print pajamas I bought for him tonight. He looks so cute in them. I love Christmas season. I am glad he is wearing them now, instead of waiting for Christmas.
I made a pallet on my bed for Bella. She has a white blanket that can be bleached as needed to sleep on, next to me. She is waiting here for me to go back to bed. I think I have had enough Dew for one night. I kind of want some of that orange juice I bought from Walmart. It's good stuff.
You know, despite all the conflict, health problems, and financial problems, we are a generally happy family. It could be easily seen Sunday night when Caleb wanted to hold my hand while he was on the bed at the ER. God bless us!
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