Today's prompt is "What was the last party you went to?" A birthday party for one of Caleb's friends.
It is now 4:16 a.m. and I am awake because I got too warm and could not cool off. Yesterday was a good day. I did not have the pain I had before, and I was not feeling weighed down or sluggish. I felt like a new person! I finally took a hot shower, and put on some clean clothes. We went and ran errands before Caleb's appointment. We went to the post office, to put gas in the Mazda, to grab a few groceries from Walmart, and pick up Caleb's medication from the pharmacy. We had time to come home and move the refrigerated items to the fridge and then we went back out, to Caleb's appointment. While Caleb was seeing his occupational therapist, I made some calls. I called his pediatrician's office several times to try to make an appointment, but the line was busy each time. I called AT&T about our cable boxes, but didn't get very far since I was not home to trouble shoot. We came home after his appointment was over, and I got to facetime my Aunt Lisa! At some point my mom facetimed me too! I made dinner early so we would not be hungry while at Bible study. We had fettucine with red meat sauce made with zucchini, squash, and onions. It was delicious! I made the meat and vegetables separately from the actual sauce so Caleb could eat them without a problem. He ate a little bit, but did not eat as much as I thought he would. We went to Bible study at Generations church for the first time. I was in the moms' group, and Caleb was in a different room with all the kids. It was risky because no one was wearing a mask, and no one was social distancing. The ladies are very animated to say the least. It's a very lively group. I am so quiet compared to them. It was a good day. I came home tired and ready for bed! LOL
Caleb was not happy about being put with the little kids at church, but there is no other option. I can not leave him at home as I do not trust him. He is not mature enough to handle the responsibilities of being alone in the house. I will continue to take him everywhere I go for as long as I can.
Today I hope to get some laundry washed, and catch up on cleaning up the kitchen. If I do that, I will consider it a good day. I also need to clean the hallway , which is a big job even though our hallway is small, and I need to clean the hallway bathroom. I do not know if I have bathroom cleaner, as I haven't looked for it yet. I will have to make a separate day for the hallway as I know I will hurt my back and it will take me many breaks to get it complete. The same with the bathroom. Both jobs require a lot of bending over and squatting which are painful for me. I hope to continue to have good days and get these things accomplished.
Caleb needs to clean the living room. He has taken apart the sofa and the chair for their cushions to build a fort, and they need to be put back where they belong. He needs to clean the floor by picking up his stuff and putting it away. He also needs to shop vac the floor. It takes him a long time to get stuff done, so I imagine it taking several days to do all the tasks that need to be done in addition to his daily tasks.
I am trying to get Caleb on a good schedule so that he is taking his medications like he is supposed to. It's not easy. Many times I wake up, and he is not even home. The first thing we do in the morning is take our medications. Can't exactly do that if he's not here!
I should be getting my partial shipment of supplements today! I am excited because this could be a life changer. I wish they would have all arrived at the same time so I could start taking them at the same time. I will have to wait until the other supplements arrive.
Bella came out here to tell me to go back to bed, but I just got started! LOL Bella Boo Boo! I love that girl of mine.
Caleb is asleep in his fort on the living room floor. Other than the air conditioner, it's quiet in here. The air conditioner feels so good though. Oh my gosh. I am so grateful to have it. I never knew what a difference it could make. I got so lucky to get an out of the box air conditioner too, so it's much bigger than I could afford originally.
Speaking of air conditioners, I do not think they had the air on at church, and I was getting hot. I was not the only one using my questions sheet as a fan though! I'm glad I didn't show up in jeans, t-shirt, and blazer! I would have been so uncomfortably hot. I wore my regular clothes, looking as funky as could be. I wore my hot pink tank tunic (one without holes or bleach stains, or any stains), my black shorts, my black knee-high compressions socks, and my diabetic shoes. I had my hair pulled back in a pony tail because I was hot even after I cooled off for a little while after my shower. I wore my same ol cat eye glasses that I've had for a year now. I was the only one wearing a mask, but I was not the only one with tattoos or piercings. I was not the only one who was not wearing makeup, and I was not the only one who was dressed for comfort. So it was cool. I wasn't totally out of place.
Caleb had his phone, and some things in his backpack to keep him occupied. To be honest, I was expecting at least one text from him, but I never got one. I kept checking my phone because it was on silent.
I finally mailed the post cards that came with my art supplies kit that was donated to me. They were pre-addressed to people who donated funds to make the organization run. They were "Thank you" post cards. So I feel good about that.
I was getting close to having an empty gas tank, so I feel better now that it is full. I was getting too close to having no Dew, so I am glad I had time to stop at Walmart. I picked up a few other things while I was there too. I am planning on making a soup with the ham I was given from the Brunswick Family Assistance Food Drive. I was also given split peas. First thing to come to mind? Split peas soup! I am going to make my own version with ham, split peas, yellow potatoes, cream, cheddar cheese, and ham flavored bouillon. It already sounds good to me!
Caleb is not close to running out of his medications, so I was not too worried about that yet, but it's one less thing I have to do now that it's done. He is supposed to increase the dosage of his new medication, so I had to call about that because I did not remember the instructions his psychiatrist gave us.
I forgot to mention that I did not take Tramadol today at all. I did not have the need for it. I did not take it at all yesterday either. I was not suffering the same pain I was when I went to the ER, so I just pushed through it by resting in bed. Maybe now I can start to walk Bella everyday? That would be nice. She loves to go out. I like the feeling I get knowing that I exercised at least a little bit during the day.
I am waiting for the culture lab results to return. I wonder what they will say.
I guess Bella didn't want to wait for me to go back to bed. She left! LOL
So, I did not have anxiety going to Bible study. I have been to that church before. I kind of knew where I was going. It did not make me anxious to be in a small room with lots of people. I didn't realize it until afterwards that I chose the seat directly across from the door (facing the door). I felt bad for not being able to volunteer to bring snacks. I feel like I am struggling right now, and it's not a good time to be trying to give away food. I added us to the prayer list though. I asked to pray about my health, homeschooling, and being active in the group. I should have asked for prayers about my finances too. Oh well, there's always next week.
I am supposed to watch the sermon on Sunday and be able to answer questions on Thursday. The sermon is available online, if I am not mistaken. I will not be going to church. I am not comfortable being around that many people right now who are not required to wear masks and social distance.
I brought out my Student Bible that I have had since Middle school. My friends at the time bought me a Bible, and a little gift set to get me started on my journey with Christ. Caleb brought one of his Bibles to church too, but probably did not take it out of his back pack. LOL I have accumulated a number of Bibles over the years and kept them all. I really like the one I got from Young Life in high school, but it is only the new testament.
I remember feeling so dark in a group of light hearted souls when I went to Young Life. I did not feel dark when I went to church yesterday. I felt different from everybody, but I did not have the same darkness about me. The difference is having John and Sharon in my life versus not having them in my life. Generations, like Young Life, is a non-denominational Christian church. I don't yet feel like I belong, but I don't feel like I don't belong either. I am new, so... but not feeling like I don't belong is great thing!
One of the ladies brought a newborn infant to group, and for once I did not wish I had another baby. The baby was so small, and I could not stop looking at her smallness. I did not fondly remember Caleb as a baby when I saw the baby. I did not have delusions of how great it would be to be pregnant again. I did not wish anything upon myself about having another baby, at all. I no longer have baby fever. Reality must have set in at some point, and I did not even realize it. I'm getting old. I'm 37 which is not young. I don't have money, ever. My health is already bad. I have a child who requires a lot of attention already. So many reasons not to think having a baby would be a good idea.
I was so happy to be able to watch my nieces and nephews grow up, but that has passed with their parents being assholes. There is no other way to put it. You block me, you cut me from your life entirely, you are an asshole. There, I said it. ASSHOLE!
I am done with the Dew for this session. I'm going to go drink some unsweetened vanilla almondmilk real quick and go to bed. Bella is waiting for me. She shows me unconditional LOVE.
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