Today's prompt is " What do you want to say when someone asks "What do you do?"" I want to say I am disabled veteran helping other disabled veterans.
It is now 4:53 a.m. here. I am still tired, but Caleb ended up sleeping with me and Bella in my bed, and he is blocking my CPAP. Typically when I wake up in the middle of the night, I turn my CPAP off when I take my mask off. This keeps it from going into overdrive. It also makes it easier to put back on when I am ready to go back to sleep.
Caleb was scared to sleep alone last night. He is afraid of something called "Siren Head."
Yesterday I had a fibromyalgia day, and stayed in bed. I felt throbbing all over and didn't feel right. I also went to Amsterdam Life and bought a bottle of e-juice, even though I said I wasn't going to. I ran out and within 20 minutes was at the damn store. I am an addict. I am not proud of myself.
Yesterday I received my absentee ballot. I need a witness and do not know where I am going to get one. This could be a problem.
I am all out of Dew. It sucks.
Bella's ears look way better than when I started treatment. I have not looked at her paws lately, but she has not been licking them like she was either. Her eyebrow looks like it is healing, although it is still pink from where she was scratching.
Today Caleb has his occupational therapy appointment in person. I might ask his therapist to be my witness.
Caleb ate his whole plate at dinner tonight. I made a london broil and broccoli for dinner. He started us on baked beans for dinner. I was not feeling well, so I think he was trying to feed me so I could feel better.
I sent him the weirdest text message the night before last. I was trying to tell him to come take his medication for the night. That's not what I typed though. I'm a little worried that I'm losing my mind.
Last night I had to do something about those compression socks. My ankles were itching so badly. I took them off real quick, because I was tired of itching.
Caleb saw that I wasn't wearing socks with my diabetic shoes and flipped out. LOL He knows how seriously I take care of my feet and my shoes, and couldn't believe it.
Caleb managed to stay out of trouble all day yesterday. I am glad because really I couldn't do anything.
Caleb needs a haircut pretty badly. We need groceries, and we have money on the EBT card as of yesterday. I need to go to the post office to mail some things out. We will probably spend today doing those errands. I need to "defunk and rerag" as my dad would say. I have been trying to keep up and falling further and further behind. Adding Bella's treatments to the routine cost me time and energy. Waking up at odd times early in the morning is certainly not helping me be productive during the day.
I need to ask for another eye ointment prescription, this time with multiple refills available. I need to restart using the prescription oral care products my dental team has given me.
Considering what I deal with on a daily basis, I am doing ok, however, that is not the scale I measure myself by. I measure myself by what I imagine a normal person does. By that standard, I suck.
I have to put on my calendar the time and date for the food pantry pickup. I think it is coming up. I will have to find new recipes, as I don't know how to cook some of the stuff on the list that they are going to be giving out. I am ever so grateful to get free food. I missed the last pickup. I misplaced the letter and didn't put the time and date on my phone calendar to remind me.
I was hoping to have some cash after my next pay day, but it looks like I am going to be paying back the credit card for what I bought for Bella when I didn't have cash on hand. Sucks, but I'd do anything to make my fur baby healthy and well.
Caleb and I need to get our flu shots. We might go on Saturday when the CVS opens up. I was going to try last Saturday, but I forgot, and didn't wake up in time.
Bella is curled up at the foot of the bed, under Caleb, who is curled up in a ball on the left side of the bed. He generates so much heat for such a small person. Or maybe I am the one generating the heat. Either way, I was starting to get hot.
I think Bella has a whole new appreciation for me, now that I have been treating her for allergies, ear mites, and diarrhea. I bought enough supplies to last for a while, in case I need some of them again. I bought her chewing treats when I placed my order from Chewy. She loves pig ears, cow ears, and rib bones. I also bought her a few friends to play with and chew on too. One is an orange fox, one is a brown bear, and one is a dental chew gorilla.
Rachel wasn't feeling well yesterday either. I hope she feels better today.
I am feeling pretty blah. I am glad the window unit AC is back on. It was getting too warm in here.
I wish I could have done better for my family. I wish I could provide more for my family. I wish it didn't constantly feel like I was close to the end of my life. Fernando apparently thinks I am living off the government unrightfully. John has lied to him about my ability to pay for things as a result. It's not a good thing to Fernando to serve in the military. What choice did I have? No one was willing to help me pay for college. I could not afford to live on my own by working the type of jobs I could get without a college degree. I wanted to get out of the slums. I was scared to live where I lived. There was a gun shooting in the parking lot that I witnessed. There were police home invasions of crack houses in my neighborhood. I was depressed. I didn't have money. I couldn't hold a job for very long. I outgrew everything I tried within a few months. I was very bright and learned pretty quickly. That's what's so depressing now. I am not that sharp anymore. I have dulled down with the lack of sleep and the increase of medications.
I did escape the ghetto. I enlisted in the Army and I travelled to Ft. Leonard Wood, Missouri for basic training. I travelled to Ft. Sam Houston, Texas for Healthcare Specialist AIT. I travelled to Ft. Lee, Virginia for Unit Supply Specialist AIT. Last, but not least, I travelled to Seoul, Korea for my duty station.
I never returned to the ghetto, and I hope I never do.
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